by ladyarcher70 » Wed Jul 09, 2014 4:29 pm
I started to read this, but soon gave up as I find it unbearably painful........and if I feel like that, just reading it, and have never had it happen to me.......how on earth do those whose children are gone stay sane...
.... another thing that I find very difficult is that I know from other birth family members, and a friend of my birth mother, how much I was loved by my b.mother and b.father, and b.grandfather....... yet my b.mother was forced to give me up, and my b.father was not given any choice as it all happened when he was posted elsewhere in the war......
...given that she already knew what it was like to lose the three children from her marriage who were taken from her and kept by her husband,............ and lost myself and my full sister who was still a babe in arms to adoption........ our b.mother then had a son that she gave up to adoption as well, then another son whom she managed to sort of keep, by having him fostered for a while......she also had another daughter from her much later second marriage.......
..given her experiences... how could she take the chance - I won't put it more coarsely than that - take the chance of becoming pregnant again, having already 'lost' five children......obviously in the 1940/early 50s the safest form of birth control was abstinence ......... I know that she had to take live in housekeeping jobs............so it could well be that she had to submit or lose her job and the roof over her head .....there are men like that, one cannot be naïve.......and it is likely that she would find it hard to get a job, and somewhere to live if she was in an area where she was known as a 'scarlet woman' ....maybe she was past caring what happened to her, or maybe she was trying to replace the children she had lost..........who knows .........I have not walked in her shoes, though I know about some of her journey ........I don't judge her, only weep for her ............
LA70
born 1944 - adopted 1946