Searching but not searching

Moderator: AfterAdoption

Re: Searching but not searching

Postby sazzer » Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:15 pm

Can understand why an original birth certificate (or copy) has 'adopted' written on it as a means to formally ending that legal name upon adoption and 'transferring' it to the Adoption register. Feels quite sad looking at it I know.

I've checked a few death certs of mine though Turtle and none of them have had 'dead, deceased or otherwise' written onto them..... it's obvious by way of it being a death certificate in the first place, I wouldn't have thought it needed spelling out again. I wonder if it has been a genuine mistake(s); may be worth feeding it back to the provider on the basis you found it quite upsetting then if someone is doing something (unwittingly) they shouldn't, it can prevent others from experiencing the same. One explanation could be the use of temporary 'agency staff' in the copy process i.e. inexperience. The 'Who do you think you are?' series has just been on and no doubt there is still some impact from 'Long Lost Family', so organisations such as the GRO may have employed temporary staff to cope with the workload these may have generated. Ancestry have regular separate ads too but GRO etc should be in the loop with their scheduling so they can demand plan reasonably well.

One thing I've noticed while obtaining certificates, don't know if anyone else has, is that dependent on the type of certificate and date of event, I've gone from microfiche copy of handwritten/typed entries 'dropped' on to the blank base certificates to ink written copies.... the state of the handwriting on some of those leave a lot to be desired to say the least; such important documents deserve the right to be in lovely handwriting, should be a requirement of the job..... or am I expecting too high a standard?? Just my 2p worth.
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Re: Searching but not searching

Postby Turtle » Wed Nov 14, 2012 8:43 am

When I checked the dates on my certificate, it wasn't written until November. I was born in May and my adoption went through in October. So it was actually written out after my adoption went through, so part about the adoption was written on the certificate when the whole thing was originally written out.

My view though, is that these are all separate events. I was born, then I was adopted. There is paper work on both those things. There was no name change, as I wasn't named at birth, so there are no problems with that. Maybe it is just me. I just feel, as separate events, they should be seen that way. I guess it is that human need to feel normal, and having a basic birth certificate that just contains the information of your birth, not facts after the event, to me would go a long way to doing that.

I have also been buying certificates as I am building my family tree. I naively believed that they would be true copies, and I would get a chance to see signatures. It was a huge disappointment to find that they were only copies written out by someone else.
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Re: Searching but not searching

Postby carolina » Fri Nov 16, 2012 1:00 pm

Hi Turtle

I don't know if you live near to your local records office, or rather the records office which holds the church records for your birth family's marriages. You should be able to view either a microfilm or microfiche record for each church there. Sometimes you do get to see the original handwritten volumes too - so I have seen bm's original marriage record. Witnesses and fathers' occupations can also help you make important connections in your family tree - and provide info for you to check against the various censuses.

What I did was to do my research online using IGI or Ancestry and then make my "hitlist" of marriages to check in person, ready for when I could travel to the records office.

You are absolutely right when you say it is addictive - but it helps to fill an enormous gap and gives you thinking space.

Good luck
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Re: Searching but not searching

Postby julie2009 » Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:07 pm

Hi Turtle - I haven't been on these forums for a while but I have just read your story which sounds quite similar to my own.
I was adopted at four months in 1971. I was born in June that year and placed with my parents in October at same year.
Like you part of me never had any intention of meeting up with my birth relatives. I just wanted to know some information about them. After a lot of searching I discovered my BM had gone on to marry the year after I was born and had a daughter shortly after this. She then had two more children. She sadly died at the age of 41 so I decided to try and trace my BF.
I got a shock one day when an email arrived confirming it was him. We emailed each other on and off for a few months and then his son decided to email me too. At the start I was a bit apprehensive but I went along with it. Just before last Christmas the emails fizzled out. I decided then to make contact with my birth aunt. I wrote to her first just to confirm it was her and she wrote out saying it was. She rang me to work one day and all I can say is she got very emotional talking to me. She said it would be better if she put everything down in writing and promised she would tell me the truth. A few letters and emails arrived but she would always sign off saying I will continue in my next letter or email which she didn't. I explained I would understand if this was all too much for her and she didn't want to stay in contact and she said that would never happen.
I just email her now and again to see if she is OK but she never seems to reply. I actually came across her two daughters on FB one day and I can definitely see a resemblance between her and my BM. Tried looking up BM other children couldn't find anything on FB about them.

Some people I know thought it was a bit selfish of me not wanting to meet up with these relatives but maybe some day I will decide but for now I prefer to leave things as they are.

Take care

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Re: Searching but not searching

Postby ladyarcher » Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:37 pm

When I went to get a copy of my original birth cert. in 1966 the National Records were still in Somerset House in London........a beautiful and dignified building............the record books, certainly for the year I was born, - 1944 - were all hand written in Copperplate with real ink biros in those days............I remember turning the pages with the same sort of reverence that I would have handled a Bible in Church........the general surroundings and architecture, and the size and appearance of the record books and care with which each entry had been made gave one the feeling of Church, or a university was quiet, and the few people in there moved quietly..........the only sound was the soft rustle of slowly turned pages.........

What a contrast years later in the early 1990s when the records were at St Catherine's I wrote in another post.......dirty, cramped, noisy, and as the smoking ban had not happened then, stinking and heavy with smoke and cigarette ends on the floor and over flowing ashtrays.........the record books were not the same ones either........because I was looking in the same years, i.e. my birth 1944.......and then looking for my full sister born sixteen months later.......1945....I had expected the books to be still the copperplate ones, but they were not.......they were typed ........ and not well typed either, in that the letters were sort of fluffy like a carbon copy, ..........if anyone reading this remembers carbon paper,........ they looked like they were not the top copy, i.e. not crisp round the edges....

.............horrid place, and not the interesting and rather reverend experience that I had wanted to share with my children who were with me helping me look...........I had hoped that they would take in the solemnity of the thought that in this building.............. in these books.......... were recorded the life events of the whole nation for generations back................. instead, it was a place we could not wait to get out of as soon as we had found the records we wanted and ordered the certificates......

It is interesting to note that other adoptees, and presumably 'ordinary' people too, have the desire for their birth to be recorded with significance........

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