Just received all available adoption/birth details. What nxt

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Just received all available adoption/birth details. What nxt

Postby SailorBoy » Wed Mar 02, 2011 12:56 pm

Just wondering now i have all necessary names and dob's of birth parents what steps there are to finding there whereabouts other than the obvious like facebook/ancestry which i have done already.

Any advice would be grately taken and if anyone would like to swap numbers with me, as I find it much easier speaking than typing (for speed purposes anyway :) )

Thanksyou and I hope to hear from you's soon.

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Postby julie2009 » Fri Mar 04, 2011 4:12 pm

Hi Sailorboy and well done. You will find on this forum many people find their relatives through Facebook etc. I never did. I tried all those ancestry websites too but found out nothing.
How did you find these details because if it was through an adoption agency or social worker they may be able to help you in your research.
If you are like me and like to work independently. If you know the town where your birth parents were from you could place a small discreet ad in their local newspaper leaving your own contact details etc. Somebody somewhere always knows somebody and remember this is such a small world. You should place your message in the adoptee section of this forum you might get more suggestions that way.

Hope everything works out for you.

All the best Julie xx
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Location: co. antrim

Postby ladyarcher » Sat Mar 05, 2011 5:11 pm

Hi SB........register on the Govt. Adoption Contact Register, in case they are looking for you.......it is a sleeper contact site, your message stays there until tweaked into life by someone looking for you......that is how I found my full sister......my message sat there for 15 years. When her soc.wrkr. started enquiries, my message flagged up......

If you have the addresses of your b.parents at the time of your birth, then as Julie says, a discreet local paper notice is a good tryout......

If you belong to Genes R. there are people on there who subscribe to a multitude of records sites.......they will search for subsequent marriages in order to give you any later surnames to search for.

If your b.parent grew up in the area that your birth address is, then check out Friends Reunited for the schools in that area......they may be members and even if they aren't someone from their class/year group may know where they are.......

If they lived in a small village, try ringing the local shop especially if it has a post office in it.......village postmistresses know everything.......
Churches too are a good source of info.......local vicar or priest etc.....

Searching this way, yourself, is time consuming and you have to be quite single minded about it......I once wrote to and phoned every female in a particular county whose date of birth was the same as that of my full sister. I knew she had gone to that county on adoption, and might still have been there.......also via Friends R. I messaged all the secondary schools in the area.....unfortunately she had gone to boarding school, so that did not work, but it could have done........you are looking for a parent, so will have to check relevant dates for their ages at the time of your birth......

you have to ferret around and talk to a lot of people if you can go to the actual area........bear in mind that your b.mother may well have gone further afield in order to give birth, for example she may have been sent to a friend or relative at a distance in order to protect her good name in her own area.......so the hospital or maternity home address may not reflect where she actually lived.......

I found my birth mother by knocking on the door of the house next door to where she had lived at my birth.......even though I was 25 years old, and she had last seen me when I was 15 months old....the lady who answered the door recognised me as I looked like my birth father, she also knew roughly the area my b.mother had fled to......result!!!!!

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Postby Highland Lassie1 » Sun Mar 06, 2011 9:20 am

My social worker had done a search for me about my bm's side of the family at the General Register's House, searched the births, deaths and marriages. (he happened to be going down there anyway so it was a case of good timing and good luck for me - this was in 1994 so quite some time ago now). I got sooo much information...my bm's marriage details and further children she went on to have, my two half sisters.

After this it was easy for me to find one of my half sisters - on friends reunited. The surname is quite unusual, I knew what schools my bm had gone to, I checked the same schools for information of my half sister...and bingo (and it was via friends reunited that I sent a message in June Last year to my half sister).

192.com threw up the current address for my bm and her husband, I got this last year too.

I was luck in the fact that bm didn't move around and stayed in roughly the same area where she grew up.

Tracing my bf has been a bit more difficult, again lucky that the surname is unusual. However I found some information on a Community run website, got a message from somebody saying they knew him....I am now "friends" (although we haven't met, we email, text and have spoken over the phone) with this person (who is a bm herself....uncanny huh...) and she has been a huge source of not only vital and important information but support too. I too hopefully am supporting her....she is desperate for her son to contact her......

Good luck Sailorboy.

HL x
Adopted at 8wks, now 41. Made contact with BM June 2010, met one sister on Saturday 28th Aug 2010, met BM on 20th October 2010, met other sister on December 2010. Now trying to establish contact with BF.
Highland Lassie1
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