Tracing Birth Father

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Tracing Birth Father

Postby Legally Brunette » Mon Oct 25, 2010 8:48 pm

Hi there

I am trying to locate my birth father. I have his name and address and an idea as to his year of birth, but everywhere I look on the internet attracts a charge of some level or another.

Can anyone give me any tips as to ways I may be able to trace my BF with little or no cost?

Thanks

LB
Adopted at 6 weeks in 1969; traced BM approx 11 years ago; written contact only until phone contact early 2010; met BM & siblings May 2010. Now in regular contact
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Postby ladyarcher » Mon Oct 25, 2010 11:19 pm

I assume you mean that you have his name and address from the time of your birth/adoption........if so, then it will be a case of doing serious leg-work in the area that he was living at the time.........this will possibly mean knocking on peoples' doors.......maybe you have it on your original birth cert....

....There are sites where you can put messages that do not cost, or do not cost much....there are people who have paid access to a lot of the Genealogy sites, and also the electoral roles, they will help for nothing, the people most helpful are those on Genes Reunited..........beware as there are also sites that will steer you to private detectives who may charge a lot, and possibly not deliver the goods at the end......

...Have you put yourself on the Adoption Contact Register which is run by the Government.........this does cost a bit, but not a lot really, I don't know what it is now as I used it fifteen years ago..........it is simply a 'sleeper' service where you leave a message that you want to find, and you want to be found.........then if the person you are looking for also puts on a message they are linked and informed about each other - its a good idea to agree to relatives as well in case there are any half siblings or cousins etc looking for you

If you have the address now.........then there is a different set of actions needed to make contact with him...........on this board you will find plenty of people who have done searching - and contacting - in many different ways according to what seems right at the time.......once we know whether it is a 'now' name and address, or a 'long time ago' name and address we can give you better help/advice/experience.

LA
born 1944 - adopted 1946 - found b.mother 1972 - sadly missed b.father who died young, but who had told his subsequent children in Canada that they had two English sisters.......so when I made contact it was not a shock.........finally found full sister, last year, after a search of forty years.......we were adopted separately.......
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Postby Legally Brunette » Tue Oct 26, 2010 8:30 pm

Hi Lady Archer

Thank you for your reply. The address I have is where by BF lived at the time I was born. A friend of mine has managed to obtain some information earlier today from the Records Office and is now on a mission to find out as much as she can!

I will keep you updated!

And thanks again

LB
Adopted at 6 weeks in 1969; traced BM approx 11 years ago; written contact only until phone contact early 2010; met BM & siblings May 2010. Now in regular contact
Legally Brunette
 
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Location: East Midlands

Postby LJ » Tue Oct 26, 2010 8:37 pm

Hi, I was reliant on the kindness of strangers when searching... found bm through missingyou and bf through genesreunited - also checked by 2 very kind members from here... Didn't spend a penny!
Good luck,
L
LJ
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Postby ladyarcher » Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:34 pm

I have had a lot of help from Genes R. too.........and, as you say LJ the kindness of strangers.........and not had to spend very much, just a few certificates........and some petrol in the days when it was cheaper.......
LA
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Re: Tracing Birth Father

Postby ~Sooze~ » Wed Aug 10, 2011 5:21 pm

Hi

I've not visited this forum in a loooooong time!!! I'm just curious whether LB had any luck with a search?
Born 1965 Adopted 1966
Traced Birth mother and 8 siblings 1987
Reunited with another adopted sibling 2008
Met with 3 siblings on birth Fathers side January 2009

At present, in contact with 9 out of my 12 siblings :-) Not doing too bad!!
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Re: Tracing Birth Father

Postby Legally Brunette » Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:38 pm

Unfortunately my search has not been particularly successful. A very good friend of mine kindly did some research for me and I managed to get more information, which led me to my birth father's facebook profile.

I sent an initial message to him, which went unanswered and then sent a further message telling him who I was. I gave him some background and generally reassured him that I didn't want to upset his life etc... his response was to delete his profile from facebook!!!

I was initially quite angry, but at the moment I feel nothing. It's his loss and he's showing his true character.

On the positive side, I now have a fantastic relationship with my birth mother and siblings, whom I see regularly. They have welcomed me into the family with open arms and I feel extremely lucky :)

LB
Adopted at 6 weeks in 1969; traced BM approx 11 years ago; written contact only until phone contact early 2010; met BM & siblings May 2010. Now in regular contact
Legally Brunette
 
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Re: Tracing Birth Father

Postby home ed is fun » Tue Nov 29, 2011 4:12 pm

hi legally brunette your father probably hasnt gone off face book but blocked you. my daughters father has done this to myself and his daughter several times. my daughter managed to contact her half sister via facebook and they were talking regularly after the initial shock happened as my daughters little sister didnt know she excisted. my daughter is not adopted her father is the adopted person and my daughter and myself were abandoned by him. when he discovered both his daughters were talking he blocked my daughter from her sisters page thinking that was that but they had been in contact for several month and by that time had other ways to communicate.the whole situation is sad and its unfortunatly down to him. is there other ways on the net you can contact your father. does your libary have people finder or other such info where you can put in the persons name and get there address? might be worth a snail mail letter
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Re: Tracing Birth Father

Postby Legally Brunette » Tue Feb 07, 2012 9:38 pm

Hi all

Sincere apologies for the lack of response on this topic. I have decided, for the time being at least, not to take any further steps to contact my birth father. He has made his feelings more than clear and for now, I'm seeing it as his loss. I have built a wonderful relationship with my birth mother and siblings and to be honest, I don't want anything to spoil that or cast a shadow over it.

It hurts, if I'm honest and I do sometimes get angry at him. I may well revisit this issue at some point in the future but for now, it's not high on my list of priorities.

Thank you for all of your support and guidance. I will try to keep up to date with posts in the future!

LB
Adopted at 6 weeks in 1969; traced BM approx 11 years ago; written contact only until phone contact early 2010; met BM & siblings May 2010. Now in regular contact
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Re: Tracing Birth Father

Postby julie2009 » Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:54 pm

Hi LB - good for you. I know part of you is probably still hurting and then again it is his loss.

I found my own BF through an ad I placed on the internet and apparently he is a user of Facebook too - and he is 66.
Had been in regular contact with his son by email but haven't heard anything since before Christmas even though I sent him a few emails so he can't blame me for the lack of response.

Glad to hear you and your BM are getting along so well.

Take care

Julie xx
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