Moderator: AfterAdoption


Postby Jules » Thu Sep 27, 2007 7:22 pm

deleted post. Thank you every one for your comments...they were incredibly helpful!
Last edited by Jules on Thu Sep 13, 2012 8:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby dhelliwell23 » Thu Nov 15, 2007 10:37 am

Hi jules

Don't let it get you down, you have done nothing wrong here, and you must remember this. Try to look outwards at what else is going on around you. If you can Talk to your Adopted parents they can be more supportive that you think, i know because i was in exactly the same situation as you 14 and really down about stuff. i did'nt understand about my adoption i felt isolated like no one understood or had the answers that i needed. What in particular bothers you??

As for the part of you that you feel is missing it is comon to feel that way as it is not easy to deal with the thoughts that adoption brings, and you can feel very distant from people and even yourself. Try to think about what you have already and you will see that there is a family who love you.

I know how you feel about the sister scenario, because i have just found out that i have a younger sister i never knew about who has known about me all her life, how weird is that?

Anyway i hope you feel better :D and if you wanna chat my e-mail is
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Postby Wendy Gooley » Thu Jan 03, 2008 12:52 am

Dear Jules, Only just spotted your post im still a newish member and im still finding my way around. Can i please just say youve done nothing wrong whatsoever to be adopted, chances are your birthmum wanted better than she has felt she could give you at the time please dont feel unwanted and unloved you might be adopted, but that makes you more special you was chosen goodluck hunny x
REUNITED!! Met With My Son 1-8-08!!!
Aint life Grand x x x x x x x x x x x x
Sèék Àñ Yê Shãll Fïñð
Wendy Gooley
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Postby Diane » Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:04 am

I also am an adopted child.
I'm so sorry you feel in the way you do.
Jules you have done nothing wrong at all. There are many children out there that have been adopted or fostered, simply because at the time the birth parents could not care for you in the way they felt you deserved.
To give away a child is heart wrenching, but to make that deceision to have you adopted was for a better life for you.
Are your adopted parents supportive and understanding? Can you talk to them?
Some adoptive parents are frightened by their child wishing to find their natural roots, and the only way you can help them to help you is to tell them how much you love them too, and that, that will never change.
I also have this fear of rejection, something which I am certain is affecting you. The way I deal with this is to surround myself by those that love me.
As time goes by it will become easier for you to contact them, and at least you have a starting point a sister, so that is a positive.

Sending supporting hugs your way xx
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Postby brightspark » Mon Jan 07, 2008 11:14 am

Jules, you have done nothing wrong, the grown ups made the desission for you to be adopted - you had no part to play, you have done nothing wrong!!!!
I imagine its tough for you, like you say. Questions and answers you would like to know and maybe not knowing or who to ask. You say you feel lonley, can you talk to your mum or dad, or maybe a teacher / friend, i know sometimes its hard to talk to family , consider??
You do not have to feel you are going through this on your own....there are people on here you can share with, or you may find some one closer to home.
hope things have shifted for you :)
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Postby samantha » Wed Feb 20, 2008 11:45 pm

I'm an adopted person and understand everything what you have said in your post. firsly it is normal feelings and take years to change the negative thouht pattrtnd and they can come back. I had depression last year and sympathise hun. that being adopted is in no way your fault you didnt do anythin wrong. i am glad you have contact with your oldest sister. i had contact with my birth mum, not with my sisters. understand the feeling of how can you miss something never reallyu had and not understading why have strong feeins for them when not realy known them. stay strong
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Postby jazmin_latino_pride » Fri Sep 19, 2008 8:45 am

you have done nothing wrongat all. your birth mum wanted a better life for you. im 16 and im adopted i feel the same sometimes if you want to chat dont hesitate to ask for msn or something.
remember you have people that love and care for you.
sending you love
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Postby MiMi » Mon Sep 22, 2008 5:17 pm

Hi Jules,
I am adopted and have found it extremly hard to except. I have had depression to the point where i started cutting myself with knives so i do understand how you feel!

What i will say is that even though i still find it hard to talk about being adopted and i find it upseting things can get better!! I'm now happy 90% of the time and enjoy life to the full!

Dont let things get you down!! XxMx
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Joined: Thu Sep 18, 2008 7:50 pm

Postby morris » Mon Sep 22, 2008 8:42 pm

HI! JULES, Welcome to our little forum, You are not alone in the way that you feel at the moment You have been put in a situation which you had no control over, The feelings that you have are normal, I was told that i was Adopted when I was about 12 yrs old I always knew that some how I was differant but didnt know why :? :? .

I was about 60 when I found out what it realy meant by the word ADOPTION, I am now over 70 and the feeling still haunts sometimes, What did I do wrong and then the feeling passes over and I think thank god I am still Alive and able to live a normal life ADOPTION is not desease but a label that has been put upon us ,
Sometimes I feel like having a tee shirt printed with I WAS ADOPTED and wear it with pride, :D :D

So Jules you are not alone, keep you chin up, keep in touch, and keep smilling, :D :D ,

Say to yourself that I am in the ADOPTED CLUB and not every one can join :lol: :lol:
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Postby j-h-g-5 » Mon Sep 22, 2008 9:07 pm

I would like to point out that the original post was written almost a year ago, and it seems that 'Jules' hasn't been back since, so I would hope that things are now looking up.

Nobody should feel shame, depression, or blame themselves for being adopted. It is something that the adopted person has no control over at all!

There is a telephone number for advice at the top of the page, and some links under this post that may help anybody that is interested.

Best wishes.
Please join us on FACEBOOK, helping people affected by adoption & showing your support:
or use the After Adoption message system to send a PM.
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thank you

Postby Jules » Sat Aug 22, 2009 9:34 am

Hi Guys,
Sorry it has taken 2 years to get bakc on this website-things have been up and own. I just wanted to say thank you for your support. Things are still pretty tricky, and had an intensvie corse to find out why I was adopted and stuff-which was hard.

Thank you for helping me-I appreciate it so so much :) xxxxx
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Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 3:20 pm

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