movin on

Moderator: AfterAdoption

movin on

Postby dawn27 » Fri Aug 26, 2011 2:46 pm

hi im Dawn im twenty seven and was taken into care wen two years old and adopted by a lovely family wen i was seven years old. iv had lovely childhood but just dont seem to be able to move on a forget my birth parents and the awful things they did! please help! x
dawn27
 
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Re: movin on

Postby ladyarcher » Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:53 am

Hi Dawn27.........you are still quite young, and probably at a stage in your life when you probably are, or just have been, moving into independence........there are many times in our lives when what is happening around us throws up thoughts and worries about our past.....

....whatever your birth parents did, they are not you......you have free will, and can decide for yourself how you live your life........whether they were cruel to you, or to others, or if they were criminal in their ways it does not mean that you will be like that, nor does it mean that you are in any way responsible for the way they were....

....however, whatever it was that they did, they were your birth parents, and that means that you will be curious, may have the feeling that perhaps they might have changed.........perhaps they did........maybe that is what you are wanting to know...............if this is so, be very careful, as there will have been good reasons for you being taken into care, you seem to know some things about it..........sadly a lot of people do not change and you now have to protect yourself from whatever was the cause of your adoption as you were protected by being adopted........

Keep coming back here for help and for people to share their experience with you.........it's a good forum with lots of kind people on it

LA
born 1944 - adopted 1946 - traced b.mother 1972 - sadly missed b.father who died young but who had told his subsequent children that they had two English sisters so when I made contact with them in Canada they were not shocked........finally found full sister who was adopted separately, two years ago, after a forty year search.......
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Re: movin on

Postby dawn27 » Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:59 am

thanku x im know wt they did and it ws awful! there mean abusive people and i wish i dint care but unfortunatly i do!! :x
dawn27
 
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Joined: Fri Aug 26, 2011 1:34 pm

Re: movin on

Postby ladyarcher » Sat Aug 27, 2011 4:29 pm

That is very sad Dawn.........unfortunately there are lots of people who are like that, what you have to do is to work out what it means for you in your life...

......you say you wish you didn't care....... what part of it are you wanting to not care about......... is it that you were hurt, and you know about it even if you were too young to remember it, and it is upsetting to think that someone who is supposed to care about you could do that.............. or is it that you wish you were not related or connected in any way to people who could do bad things like that............neither things are something that you can change......

...do you perhaps feel that you want to confront them with what they did to you, and get them to say sorry, or to explain why they were like that........these days sometimes people can be confronted and given the chance to express remorse for what they have done......... perhaps that would be possible in your case..............would it help you any if you could confront them, I wonder, as it would not change what had happened..................

Keep coming back here as you will always get support.....
LA
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