Moderator: AfterAdoption

Postby KM » Sat Dec 03, 2005 5:56 am

Have you tried the Citzens Advice Buerau?

They should be able to give you an outline of what your parents can or can not do as well as what help you can or can not recieve etc.

It also means you dont give those nice people at Social Services (Social Wreckers) anything to start making moves.

My advice is question everyones motives who speaks to you and do some research, read books on adoption as well as books about the things adoptees think and feel as well as birthparents.

Things arent black and white, another option could be guardianship, if your parents arent willing to support you etc and you are under 18 then it might be possible to have a guardian who is willing to support you and your child (the idea is to keep the bond between mother and child) etc.

Finally just because your situation today is not great does not mean it won't be different in a few years, also dont let anyone try and sell you the "its in the best interests of the child" crap, my opinion is its in the best interest of the child to be raised by its biological parents if at all possible.

I'm an adoptee.

Postby kerrie » Wed Dec 14, 2005 10:02 am

Hi everyone my baby is going to be born in febuary so not long to go. Thanks for the replys and the help sorry i have not written anything for ages i forgot about the site and then i got a message and came back and she said to tell you all so here i am. i wrote a letter to my mum first telling her i wanted to keep my baby maybe i could have told her but we were always arguing and making each other upset. It is not like my mum and dad are bad but there wanted me to go to uni and me getting pregant was mot part of the plan
Any way at 1st they did not listen and said about me and my baby going to foster care or baby getting adopted but they cant do that if i do not say yes to adoption. my mum had me when she was young so she wanted better for me and she said about foster care. I think my mum and dad was in shock of me been pregant i keept saying i want my baby and how would they have liked it if i was adopted or how it can make me ill to give my baby away and the baby would feel like some of you wrote about been adopted when he or she was grown up. i think most mums are not happy when there daughter gets pregant but she will let me keep my baby. there was a lot of talking and shouting and tears but they love me and would not put me in foster care really.
The social worker came to our house and talked about school and i am going back next september they also have put me down for a clinnic for young mums for when the baby is born so i can learn about babys. My mum and nan are going to take care of the baby until i finish school in the daytime or when i go to the clinnic and then when i am home i am. i have to do year 10 again next year cos i missed a lot but when i am older and the baby is older i can go to uni or college then there is a nusery. The social worker said i could move schools and go to a diffrent one with my baby but my mum and dad did not want that cos they dont get good results in there gcses and i think i would like it better to go back with my friends even if i will be behind. That is all thanks for your help everyone maybe my baby would be adopted if you had not helped me.
Last edited by kerrie on Sat Feb 26, 2011 5:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby jimi » Wed Dec 14, 2005 10:17 am


I am crying as I type this. That is such good news for you. Well done for being brave and strong and fighting your corner. You are already learning to become a mother, taking on board the responsibility for this little life. I am so, so happy for you.

Yes, there will be times when caring for a small baby will be hard, and you will be tired, and your future will take a different path to that you had expected. But it is just that - a different path, not a worse one. It is the beginning of a whole new future for you and your family, who will undoubtably fall in love with your baby when he/she arrives.

Look after yourself in these last few weeks of pregnancy, and good luck and best wishes for the future.

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Postby rc01 » Wed Dec 14, 2005 11:24 am

Kerrie, thank you for telling us how it all worked out. Its great to hear some good news on here, the bad stuff gets you down sometimes.
Good luck with the baby and yes, its going to be hard but you have the support of your family now.
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Postby Josie » Wed Dec 14, 2005 11:29 am

Best news ever Kerrie!!!!!!

Josie :)
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Postby Jordibird » Thu Dec 15, 2005 12:30 am

I'm with Piglit and everyone on this one Kerrie, GOOD LUCK and all the best to you and all your family. Took my breath away reading all this and the decision you have made. It took guts and you showed your family etc that you are a mature girl by standing up and stating what you want, just look at how your parents have offered all the support. I wish I had done what you are now doing (I was the same age as you), I hope you and your family have a great Xmas and wish you all luck for the future.


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