Moderator: AfterAdoption


Postby tina » Sun Nov 27, 2005 8:23 pm

Hiya carly, for someone who says they keep screwing up I have to say you have seem to have a greater understanding of people than most of us so called adults. Your adoptive family are always there for you because they love you and thats what unconditional love is all about. Everything you feel about being adopted is completly normal and i think every adoptee has a guilt badge sewn on them. I dont know if you speak to your adoptive mum about how you feel but i.m sure she will be supportive of you. She has brought you up without predjudices and that can only help when it comes to finding your past. Carly, good luck, and be happy. anybody would be proud to have you as a daughter. love tina x
i would rather be disliked for being me than loved for being what im not.
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Postby Carly » Sun Nov 27, 2005 8:50 pm

yeah my parents are good to me so good it makes me woerthluss i am not them and sometimes i wish i was i want to belong to them i wish that they never told me i was adopted and i could live with them as a real child i am not making sence
i know it would be a lie but i wish i never new sometimes maybe then i would feel more normal i just feel so down sometomes like i am not enough for anyone my parents i am not enough cos iam not there real family and not enough for my real family cos they did not want me
my mum is great and i love her but i cant talk to her bout important stuff cos i dont want to hurt her and make her feel like sje is not my real mum been adopted is not much fun thats for sure :lol:
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Postby jimi » Sun Nov 27, 2005 9:07 pm

Carly, I bet anything that your adoptive parents would much rather you shared your feelings rather than keeping them to yourself. I suspect they probably have an inkling that you have questions and worries about your adoption, and also because of your age - you are growing up and starting to explore your identity.

As a teenager it is often hard to share anything with your parents, and added to that you are worried about hurting them. If they are as lovely as you say they are, they won't be hurt, they will be so happy that you have shared with them, and I bet they will help you anyway they can.

If you continue to feel like you can't talk to them why not try calling the helpline for some advice? Sometimes it helps to know that you are not the only person to have these feelings. Also, I think I read somewhere that in some cases, even at the age of 16, you are allowed to begin the process of exploring your roots. I imagine that you would need the support of your adoptive parents in order to do this.

My heart goes out to you. I hope you will find some comfort from the support on this forum.

I am speaking as a mother in this post - my first child was adopted (born when I was the age you are) and I just know that I would want to do anything I can to help any of my children through something that worried them.

You sound like a lovely young woman.

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