Why so quiet?

Moderator: AfterAdoption

Why so quiet?

Postby Eve and Ella » Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:46 pm

I am surprised that this part of the site is so quiet. Surely there must be lots of youngsters like Ella and I wanting to share opinions?

Some of us hang out at http://childrenshome.myfastforum.org/ (The target audience is young adults from 18 to 30 who were adopted, fostered or lived in a Children's Home.) but there must be thousands of us around somewhere.

Come on, lets be hearing from you!! :D
Eve and Ella (Best friends)
Survived fostering and Children's Home

http://childrenshome.myfastforum.org/
Eve and Ella
 
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Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 10:10 am
Location: West Midlands - England

Postby ladyarcher » Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:05 am

Possibly the reason this particular part of the site, which is headed 'young people' is not used so much as the other areas is that younger people see the rather organised site headings as something that older people do - perhaps younger people are more likely to be in places like 'Facebook' or 'My Space' - ...........this is just an older person's thought.........it is often quite difficult to judge the age of people posting on other headings here, unless they actually say their age, or the year they were born. It does make quite a difference when doing tracing oneself, because you have to keep in mind the way society was at the time of your adoption .........1930s would be very different to 1960s for example.

With regard to young people who had been fostered for several years and then adopted, this happened to one of my half-brothers, it is terribly traumatic for a child. There are all these 'fluffy happy-ever-after' types of posters showing older children who 'want a real family' - in fact the readjustment can be very hard, especially when the child realises that it is 'for keeps' now, and that they cannot change if they want a different parent....

..I have friends who foster, and a friend whose parents fostered and so she was brought up with foster siblings, --- this particular friend also had many school friends from the local childrens' home - one of whom she actually married.........one of the interesting things that I learned was that some children actually preferred the childrens' home, and fostering, to the idea of being adopted. This was because there was a kind of feeling of security in the insecurity of their position. With being in the home, or in foster care, there was always the hope, or chance that things might change, and they might get their 'proper' home back - once they were adopted that faint hope had gone. Even though they had experienced bad things and unhappiness at home, there was always the thought that things could be different.

You have posted in several areas of this site, I hope that some of the answers you have got have been helpful.

LA
born 1944 - adopted 1946
ladyarcher
 
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Postby ladyarcher » Fri Jan 22, 2010 1:00 am

I have just been reading some of the postings on your 'myfastforum' - I am speechless with anger..........I would never have believed that children would still be moved about with no explanation and no former contacts kept for them. I thought that sort of thinking had gone out after the 1950s, but obviously not.
Our three younger children are still living at home in their late 20s. Some are gradually moving out as we want to retire to the West Country, and feel very guilty about leaving them, but they have jobs here. Others will come with us as their jobs are mobile. All our children have moved their boyfriends/fiances in with us, not moved out. Our eight year old grandson has always lived with his mother with us too.........and until her death, my elderly adopted mother lived with us. We were a four generation family, and are still a three gen. one.

LA
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