How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move on?

Moderator: AfterAdoption

Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby ladyarcher » Tue Oct 23, 2012 12:42 pm

Adverts for clothes have no place on an adoption site .......... eventually this will get a 'complaint' posted against it with the moderators......
LA
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Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby cariad1 » Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:59 pm

How do we do this LA as this person abusing our forum is getting on my nerves too!!!!!
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Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby Donotunderstand » Tue Oct 23, 2012 8:07 pm

If you google this persons name you will find they belong to several forums........
Aunt to a sibling group split up by Adoption and Residence Orders. Mum to birth children age 28 & 26, and adopted 14 year old (youngest of the sibling group)
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Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby ladyarcher » Tue Oct 23, 2012 10:34 pm

If you hover your mouse pointer over the little red exclamation mark on the top righthand side of a post, it says 'report post' ......... however I have done this a lot with another poster and the moderators don't seem to do anything about it which is a pity .........I know others had reported that particular person as well so it should have been noticed that it was certainly well more than one who objected........still it's worth a try if a lot of us do it.......

LA
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Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby L12 » Tue Oct 23, 2012 10:47 pm

Funnily enough i googled them yesterday....they belong to a lot of different forums

I've just emailed the moderator ...... will wait and see.
Intercountry adoption at 6 days in 1969.
Found BM in Apr 2010 after 13 year search.
Discovered that BM has been married to BF for 40 yrs and i have 2 full siblings. Met birth family in Dec 2010 in England, spent an African Christmas with them in 2011.
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Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby ladyarcher » Tue Oct 23, 2012 11:05 pm

I have reported it too now.........I had given it the benefit of the doubt for a while as there were a couple of adoption related posts, but it is getting silly, and will not help genuine adoptees and b.parents and siblings who need support.........

LA
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Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby Turtle » Thu Oct 25, 2012 7:53 am

We need a more active moderator on the site, or the whole site will become over run with spam. Once these advertisers realise that no one is removing the offensive posts they will have a field day. I emailed the moderator a couple of weeks ago about a different topic and didn't get a reply.

I think if we all report all of the posts, something might get done. I am actually a moderator on another site and every morning I go through every post and check out the newbies profiles to make sure the site stays as spam free as possible. Once a site gets bombarded with spam, genuine people will who are looking for help, will stop using this site and that is something we don't want.
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Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby ladyarcher » Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:30 pm

Quite right Turtle....

..... people being put off and no longer coming to the site would be a tragedy as it is a really good site for help and support ....

.... I suppose perhaps sending real letters with stamps on might be noticed more by the moderators, or at least by AA themselves.........difficult to know how much actual interest they have in the forum........the posts put up by Diaboletums are still there on the part of the board that is supposed to be for explaining how the boards work as a whole.......... I, and quite a lot of others reported those posts ages ago, yet they are still there and readable by anyone who newly joins the forum...

...it is odd to me that this site is not properly moderated..........obviously it would take time, and everyone has busy lives, but in my ignorance I had assumed that a moderator would be a properly paid part of AA altogether......... perhaps not, perhaps they are just volunteers who only look at the site once in a while.........enlightenment would be good.........

LA
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Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby Turtle » Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:07 pm

I doubt if they are paid. The moderators on the site that I work on are all volunteers. We just do it because we want the site to be as spam free as possible to encourage genuine members to be able to discuss their problems without being interrupted by people trying to sell kitchens.

It doesn't take a huge amount of time to moderate a site and there is a huge amount of pleasure to be gained in sending these people packing. :lol: It just irritates me that they hit sites where people are trying to have some very heart to heart discussions. It takes a bit of courage for some people to open up on a site like this and it really doesn't help if they feel that the site management aren't in control of it.
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Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby ladyarcher » Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:20 pm

It rather looks as if we shall have to send real letters in envelopes to AA.........as presumably they 'vet' the moderators .......... only thing that would concern me is that if a lot of dust is raised they may stop the forum, and that would be worse.........needs some thought.........

LA
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Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby Turtle » Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:39 pm

To be honest, I think if the forum gets inundated with spam, people will stop using it anyway. You only need a couple of spammers, or worse trolls, and it can completely wreck a site to the point where people leave in huge numbers. I have seen that happen in the past. People lose confidence in being open on a site that isn't moderated properly. I have seen some people post as many as 100 identical posts containing spam over night. It really does cause major problems. Then you get the people who post porn, and even worse the trolls who can be vicious. Once those take over the site, unless removed, the site is doomed.

As far as I can see, there is only one moderator. Perhaps, if it is too much for him to cope with, he could select a couple of long term members that are willing to help him out. As I said, it is not a major task particularly if there are a couple of you, but it makes such a difference. Moderators don't have as much power as admin and so can just do the minor tasks of removing spam and reporting trolls. It just keeps the site clean.
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Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby sylvie » Thu Oct 25, 2012 10:29 pm

I emailed the moderator a couple of weeks ago about a different topic and didn't get a reply.


Yes, I've written a couple of times about having different headings but got no replies (tho' I know my messages were picked up).
If this site is overrun with spam, all the wonderful library of posts over the years will be lost as no-one will use the site anymore, so it's imperative that it's sorted.

What can we do?
Reunited with my beloved son after decades of separation which began when I was a young teenager and he was newly born, and finally ended a few years ago when we met again as fully-grown adults.
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Re: How do i except my adoption as part of my life and move

Postby Turtle » Fri Oct 26, 2012 7:57 am

We have moved this discusion to the chit chat thread, so as not to completely take over this original thread with another topic. We are discussing the way forward in there.
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