Abandoned by adopted daughter

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Re: Abandoned by adopted daughter

Postby Josie » Wed Apr 03, 2013 4:01 pm

By the way .......
A parent cannot be "abandoned" by their child. Its impossible. The word is not the right fit.
A child can be "abandoned" by their parent though - at any stage of their life and relationship.

Just think about it :-)
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Re: Abandoned by adopted daughter

Postby ladyarcher » Sat May 04, 2013 10:20 pm

Sadly I have been off line for quite a while following our move, and various computer related problems, and I am distressed to see that a misunderstanding has occurred between Big Sky and Turtle....surely not intended on either side.........it is so sad that Big Sky has 'rung off' ..... I am sure that she needs us ........ hopefully she will come back............I am sure you both, just unluckily, caught each other on a bad day.......I realise that this was a while ago, and hope that if Turtles have feathers......yours are smoothed down again now.............coping with your mother will be utterly draining, I know, I did it too.....

...Seriously.........Turtle, you are quite right in pointing out that the focus of the site is adoption........ and of course Big Sky was focusing on the adoption side of her relationship with her daughter........ and so the adoption side was what we were all responding to........and also, as Skyblue said, maybe Big Sky's daughter has other non adoption issues that she has not confided to Big Sky........

Big Sky......I know what hiraeth is and many adoptees will have a little bit of it in their feelings about adoption, and what 'might have been' if they had not been adopted........but I am not sure of the meaning of hwyl.......it too sounds Welsh to me, I will check with my Welsh first language son in law when he drops in, in the next couple of days .... it may be that you are in Wales.......it certainly sounds like it from your sheep rescuing ..........maybe you are in Snowdonia, or Brecon, both of which areas have had harsh weather at the time you were writing......... I too, am in Wales.....Powys, actually.......so if you want a chat, send me a p.m. and I will give you my 'phone no........ that, of course, applies to anyone who thinks I might be of use ........

LA
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Re: Abandoned by adopted daughter

Postby big sky » Wed Oct 05, 2016 6:32 pm

Hi
Last edited by big sky on Wed Dec 07, 2016 6:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Abandoned by adopted daughter

Postby JJ » Wed Oct 05, 2016 9:06 pm

Hi big sky

You'll have noticed that this forum has become rather quiet in recent years, so for that reason you may not get an immediate response. Occasionally one or another of us pops in for a catch up, as have I in the last couple of days and I was sorry to see your post. I have no idea what you're going through as I am not in your situation, but I have read the thread, and I do empathise with you. I hope that, in time, you and your daughter will be able to communicate again in a way that works for you both...

Sending hugs - JJ
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Re: Abandoned by adopted daughter

Postby big sky » Thu Oct 06, 2016 4:27 pm

Thank you JJ xxxxx
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Re: Abandoned by adopted daughter

Postby cleo » Tue Oct 11, 2016 8:40 pm

Evening Big Sky

Like JJ has said, it is very quiet in here but i do come back as sometimes i feel the need to write things down as i do not go anywhere else to air my feelings....

I am so so sorry to hear about your daughter and her reactions towards you and the rest of your family, do you know how long she has been in contact with her birthmother?

It is never easy whatever side of the fence we are on, but at least here we can find some support and understanding.

It is harsh when the other person no longer wants you in their life, my son told me the same thing, only knowing him for a couple of months. Hurt was not the word, actually i had no words, even today i find it hard to believe he could just cut off and act as if i never existed, but sadly thats how it is, and i have to try and get on with my life as best i can. And for you the pain of bringing up a young girl who now decides thats it, because of finding her birthmother......there are no words.

:-(
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Re: Abandoned by adopted daughter

Postby big sky » Thu Nov 24, 2016 2:58 pm

Hope you are ok Cleo with Christmas coming up it's always a tough time for me. Family together.... Much love xx
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Re: Abandoned by adopted daughter

Postby cleo » Fri Nov 25, 2016 7:39 pm

Evening Big Sky

I can feel your pain, being on the other side of the fence, being told no further contact is wanted, and yes with christmas coming up its going to be hard, but whats even harder is tomorrow is my grandsons 6th birthday....how am i supposed to feel yet another year going by (5 years since i last saw him).....i have been getting upset again all week, trying to hide my emotions but the hurt just rises up and i find myself in tears while driving or while working in the garden etc....and on the 4thdecember will be 5 years since my son first contacted me and then of course christmas time and the 27th when i first met my son after 30 years.....then on 7th jan its my sons birthday and then on 14th my birthday

So this time of year for me is just way to much too handle, i do not celebrate christmas anymore, and as for birthdays, well lets just say i am glad when the day is over.

May i ask how old your daughter is? I have read your mails from 2013, has she been in contact with her birthmum since then or is it recently? Have you ever met the birthmum?...sorry if i am asking too many questions.

Reflecting back over the time i have turned into a very unhappy person, i keep telling myself i will get back to my old self, but i am still hurting too much, and hiding it from the outside world, i have tried to understand my son, but i really cannot figure him out, he told me a few things about himself, but now i find out that it was not all true, which should make me angry, but infact feels me with sadness.

How is the rest of the family coping with the rejection of your daughter? Do you have any other children?

I am sending you a cyber hug big sky and just to say i am here if you need to talk or just babble on abit ok xx
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Re: Abandoned by adopted daughter

Postby ladyarcher70 » Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:46 pm

Hello again Big Sky, and Cleo, and others....... I have not been here for a good while.......reasons in my own post, not to hijack yours.......however, despite not being here, you are all often in my thoughts .... so cyber hugs to you all as well
LA70
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