Hoping eveyone had a nice christmas

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Hoping eveyone had a nice christmas

Postby cleo » Sun Dec 27, 2015 8:20 am

Hello everyone,

Just to hope that you all had a relatively nice christmas, its been a hard time for me again, knowing i have 2 grandsons who will know nothing about me, the eldest turn't 5 last month, but heyho, life goe's on. Today is 4 years ago my son met up with me.....hard to think that we got on so well, and that he said he would always stay in contact with me!!!

I cannot continue to dwell on the past, i have to try and look for a brighter future, and hope 2016 may relieve some more of the pain and sadness i still feel inside, i know it will never go away, it will always lie deep in my soul.

I wish you all the best for 2016 and thankyou all for your support x
cleo
 
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Re: Hoping eveyone had a nice christmas

Postby Donotunderstand » Mon Dec 28, 2015 4:47 pm

Hi Cleo,

Yes, life goes on.......

My nieces and nephews are now all over 18 years old and when we finally arranged a meet up in October for our daughter to catch up with them and their older siblings, their mum was mooting the idea of them hopefully organising their own get togethers especially as they had passed driving tests and parents had bought them a car to share making them more independent. As they'd only met up once this year I decided to start a group chat on Facebook (with mums permission) to get a date before Christmas. This worked very well and it only took two weeks to set up whereas the previous meeting took 6 months! This seems to be the best way forward so I will do it again in the Spring but with fingers crossed that the siblings will be a bit more proactive eventually.

I think its best not to dwell on the past, the past cannot be changed. I hope 2016 is better for you.x
Aunt to a sibling group split up by Adoption and Residence Orders. Mum to birth children age 28 & 26, and adopted 14 year old (youngest of the sibling group)
Donotunderstand
 
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Re: Hoping eveyone had a nice christmas

Postby ladyarcher70 » Mon Dec 28, 2015 11:43 pm

Cleo and Donot ...... although it is true that the past cannot be changed, it cannot be totally put out of mind either, as doors into the past will swing open and shut every so often in the present and the future ....... sometimes the doors will stay open long enough to go through, other times, only open long enough for us to get a tantalising glimpse of what could, or should have been .....

it looks as if one of my 'doors' may have shut now, as my sister was being strange a couple of months ago, taking offence at members of our birth family, where none was given.......I pointed this out to her.......and I have not heard from her since, not even a Christmas card......maybe they are abroad,....... maybe it will come late....., maybe it will be a Happy New Year card, .......or maybe she'll just get in contact again as if nothing had happened ...... hmm........ a lot of maybe's......

LA
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Re: Hoping eveyone had a nice christmas

Postby cleo » Wed Dec 30, 2015 10:07 pm

Yes life doe's go on, although there are times i wish my son's door stayed shut.

I cannot alter how he feels about me, although in my heart all i ever wanted was for us to be happy, i know now that that was too much to ask. My door will always be open, not as wide as before, but i am here waiting. I doubt very much that my son will come back again, like he pointed out, he has had a fantastic upbringing with wonderful parents.

I do not get to see many photos of his son these past 6 months, its mainly topics on how he is doing in life, what fancy car he has on his driveway for the moment etc etc.

Someday's i feel angry at him, but that soon subsides as i know its not worth the pain i put myself through. I know some adoptee's on here may not understand because of what i did all those years ago, but at the end of the day, i chose for him to have (i hoped) the best life possible which i now know he has. Doe's this make it wrong that i care so much for him still, after all these years?

He will always be a part of me and me a part of him, he can hide away and pretend i do not exist, but i am sure that some days he thinks about me, even for a split second.
cleo
 
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