baby X - v - baby P - and how to tell the difference

Moderator: AfterAdoption

baby X - v - baby P - and how to tell the difference

Postby ladyarcher70 » Fri Oct 09, 2015 12:33 pm

Not sure how to have titled this post ..

... it is of course about the truly dreadful situation of the parents whose baby was taken away, and we are told is now adopted, because of a misdiagnosis of cruelty.

It is a situation that needs the judgement and wisdom of Solomon, and is almost certainly not going to get it, because most of the 'experts' concerned are not adopted, nor have they lost a child to adoption, nor are they adopting parents, therefore few will have any idea what they are talking about.....

To start at the end as it is at the moment...... one can only feel the intense pain that the adopting parents must be feeling .... I don't know all the timing details as they have not, I think, featured greatly on the news items....... how long have they actually had this child..... presumably a few months at least, because of how long adoption takes in the paperwork........ long enough to bond with and love the child one would guess, and hope ....... and they may have been waiting a long time to be accepted etc, as well......
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How long has the child been with foster parents, and has it had several foster parents over the course of approx. 2+ years ..... if it has only had one foster family, it is going to be already traumatised to suddenly get a 'new' mummy and daddy...... I know, I have been there and got the T-shirt, I was taken from my parents at approx. 17 months, stayed in a childrens' home for a while, then at 2+ given a 'new' mummy and daddy ...... so this child is already going to be confused and insecure........ and, of course, if the law eventually rules that the adoption should be overturned.......then it will have another 'new' mummy and daddy, who are in fact it's own 'real' parents.....

Then there is the heartbreak of the parents ...... and how do they resolve it....... they could let the adoption stand, so that their child is not moved again ..... and I would guess that this is the pressure that will be put on them......... the same as for any b.parent who was being persuaded to give up their child in the past......the usual..........

'this is the best thing you can do'..... 'it is the best for your child'....'what can you give him that they can't'....' if you truly love your child, you will let him go'..etc

..........all of you birth mothers who post on here will remember hearing all those phrases and probably many more......

Or they can fight to have the adoption overturned.......how long will that take, and how long will the child stay in a limbo...... belonging nowhere ..... the parents are damned if they do, and damned if they don't....... and if they don't fight, then at some point in the future their child is going to want to know why they didn't.........

Thoughts and opinions of adoptees and birth parents and adopting parents should, perhaps be aired in a larger auditorium than this site........

LA70
ladyarcher70
 
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