Struggling to find things to say to my sister

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Struggling to find things to say to my sister

Postby Mel123 » Thu Apr 23, 2015 6:42 pm

Hi there,

Here's a quick insight into my background. Three of my siblings and I started the whole process of moving into foster care and then being adopted so we have always known each other. I had another sibling, but unfortunately she died at 4 1/2 years, two months before I was born. I also have an older sister who I got in touch with about four years ago. However, I am struggling to make conversation with her. My other sister won't make an effort with her because she doesn't know what to say to her as well. My oldest sister is really nice, but because we don't really know her we don't know what to talk about. I find it awkward sometimes. I have found that she relies on me to get the conversation started and to be the one to carry it on, if you know what I mean, but I think that may be down to her disability. I am not sure. I don't mind, but can someone advise me on what to talk about. We can't talk about the past (about birth family or adoption), nor about birth parents. I like to keep in touch with all of my brothers and sisters and still keep a close bond. Please help.

P.S Sorry if this was written badly, I am just typing from the top of my head, but don't have time to go back and change it. :)

Thank you.
Mel123
 
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Re: Struggling to find things to say to my sister

Postby Donotunderstand » Wed Apr 29, 2015 2:41 pm

Hi Mel,

My nieces and nephews were separated and placed in four different homes. Some of them were able to keep in touch because they were with various birth family members and the others kept in touch by an annual letter. A couple of years ago they all got in touch with each other via Facebook.

They also do not talk about birth family - I don't think the ones outside the birth family are ready for that yet - so their conversations consist mainly of whats happened at school/college/work, films, football etc. I think the boys find it easier than the girls. One of the girls can't deal with at all and has broken off contact for now. They don't have the familiarity that most siblings have grown up with but we are working at keeping a relationship going between them. It must be hard when they've been told throughout their growing up years that they can't have any contact,

I'm sorry, I know I haven't been any help at all but I thought you might like to know that others have the same problem.
Aunt to a sibling group split up by Adoption and Residence Orders. Mum to birth children age 28 & 26, and adopted 14 year old (youngest of the sibling group)
Donotunderstand
 
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Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2012 7:07 pm


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