A very family afternoon

Moderator: AfterAdoption

A very family afternoon

Postby ladyarcher70 » Wed Jul 23, 2014 8:34 pm

Relatives are so precious......... I think that this is what many non adoptees just don't get ....

..... we have just had a lovely day in that the oldest daughter of my half sister is over here from Canada with her family........she and her husband have two boys and a girl ......... so a huge family lunch in our garden, in stunning weather ...... myself, my husband, my eldest son and his wife who have just moved here to Wales from Hampshire...... my eldest daughter and her two boys, my second daughter with her husband and their two week old baby, who is our newest grandchild and second girl...... all the older children ranging in age from four to 12 got on well and played endless games of hide and seek and climbed trees, and leapt in and out of the paddling pool, despite the heat ........us adults sat in the shade and chatted, ate, and drank lashings of wine....

Not surprisingly a lot of the conversation centred around tracing the similarities between each other and all the children....not only in looks but also in character and talents such as music and art particularly......and my niece was able to connect the similarities with the Canadian side of the v. large family of which I was born a part.....but adopted away from.....on her 'gap' year, eighteen years ago her younger sister had visited us when we lived in Scotland and at that time that niece was the first person I had seen who was related to me from my birth father's side of the family.......so that was very exciting ............ I had already traced and met my b.mother some years earlier.......

. sadly my second son and his wife could not get longer off, but they were here last weekend to see the new baby....... and our youngest son and his girlfriend and their little girl will be here this coming weekend to see baby too......

Family, relatives, so important to connect us to ourselves ...........to our past, and to our future .........


born1944 - adopted 1946 - found my b.mother in 1973 - sadly missed my b.father who died young, but who had told his children that they had two English sisters so when I made contact with them in Canada they were not shocked .... finally found my full sister five years ago, we had been adopted separately, I had found out about her when I was 25, it took me forty years to find her ......... I would never have given up looking..............
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Re: A very family afternoon

Postby sylvie » Wed Jul 23, 2014 10:28 pm

LadyArcher, that sounds wonderful!

I recently spent time with my son and his partner and their son, as well as with other members of our family. I realise that I see what my son cannot, because he was adopted away from our family.

For instance, when I look at my son's face, I see reflections of my father's face from forty years ago.
When my son gets exasperated at certain things, or finds it important to do other things in a very specific way, I know my father gets exasperated at the very same things, and also does those other things in the same specific way as my son. Neither of them are conscious of these traits in themselves, nor that they share them because they don't really know each other, but I see it clearly as I've spent time with them both.
I also share these traits, though I express them differently - I am conscious of them and have chosen a different way of expressing them. But they are the same traits.

So I see the connections and similarities running through the generations.
When my son said he felt a real pull towards a certain career, I remembered the same pull in myself when I was young, and I know that very career was my dad's secret yearning too.

LadyArcher, I am so glad you had such a lovely afternoon with your family.
You are right, family connections are so important.
Reunited with my beloved son after decades of separation which began when I was a young teenager and he was newly born, and finally ended a few years ago when we met again as fully-grown adults.
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