Update on our reunion

Moderator: AfterAdoption

Update on our reunion

Postby Donotunderstand » Tue Dec 31, 2013 10:07 am

To recap

We had our second sibling meet up last month. We all met for a cuppa and then the kids went of to have fun and we parents went off and came back a couple of hours later to pick them up. The oldest adoptee didn't come as she feels no connection and sees the others as strangers since she hasn't grown up with them. She has withdrawn from the siblings who stayed with extended birth family. Seems a bit odd to me as when they first made direct contact things were very intense and she was on the phone to her oldest sister almost daily. It came to a halt when the parents found out. I'm wondering if, rather than not feeling a connection, she was feeling disloyal to her parents.

When we were arranging the 2nd meet the adoptive mum and I agreed on a date and I came up with a venue. As this involved lots of texting to co-ordinate things my end I decided to set up a secret Facebook page ( I got the idea from a relative organising a family picnic) setting out the details and asking for input from the others as to what they'd like to do. As expected, I got little response. The meeting went very well although the absence of the oldest adoptee was felt.

Since then I put a Christmas greeting on which was been viewed by just the girls. The oldest non adopted boy sibling made a youtube video of himself a couple of years ago, singing and playing guitar. In the spirit of keeping communication open without being intrusive (ie not making direct contact with any one person) I put this on the secret page and within minutes it had been "seen" by the adopted girl. This has given me hope that she is interested. Unless I can find something else to post on there my next message will be an Easter greeting and then in May we'll be organising the next meet up. Little steps but hopefully building bridges.

Ps. To explain the significance of Facebook - I set up a secret page and added all the children and adoptive mum. They have the option to remove themselves at any time. When I post something on there everyone gets a message sent to their email and a notification on their Facebook page and they have the option to look at it or not. If they do look at my post I can see a tick and "seen by (the persons name)" So its interesting to see that the girl is curious enough to take a look as soon as she receives notification.
Aunt to a sibling group split up by Adoption and Residence Orders. Mum to birth children age 28 & 26, and adopted 14 year old (youngest of the sibling group)
Posts: 174
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2012 7:07 pm

Return to Birth Relatives

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests