Reunion Progress

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Reunion Progress

Postby butterflylady » Thu Dec 26, 2013 7:45 pm

It was 3 years ago this Christmas since my daughter and I have been in contact, as some of you know I wrote to her but I didn't in my wildest dreams expect a reply but to my utter joy I received a reply two days before Christmas 2010, we started off very cautiously and gave one another time and respect and listened to what each had to say, I have never held back on answering questions she has asked, we have travelled an amazing roller coaster there have tears, tantrums and an amazing amount of fun and laughter which outweighs and helps us through the times we struggle with each other's feelings.

It's been quite sometime since I last posted maybe a year or so but our life has changed so much our reunion has taken my husband (birth father) and I to move closer to our daughter, we're very lucky that we all get on very well and that includes her mum.

Here we are on Boxing Day and I am feeling brilliant having had our daughter spend her first Christmas with us what an absolutely amazing couple of days and we've been reflecting on all the things we have done together over the last 3 years.

For all the Adoptees, Birth Mums and Adoptive Mums I would say reunion really can work it takes time to listen to one another don't put pressure on one another and allow some quiet time to reflect on what is going on.

This part is for Turtle, you asked how I knew my daughter’s name or if she had kept mine, no she didn't keep mine I had received a copy of the adoption certificate which had her name on it and an area although not hers but that helped my search with a county.

As Ladyarcher said in a reply to the original post there are more face than three in reunion which is true in our case some family members have been accepting others have remained quiet.

Christmas wishes to you all and a Happy New Year.
butterflylady
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Sun Dec 23, 2012 11:49 pm

Re: Reunion Progress

Postby cleo » Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:08 pm

That is brilliant news for you, i'm so happy that it has worked out for you both, it must be amazing. I wish i could say the same, but my son has still given me the 'blank' even though i sent him a message :-(
I'm glad you have your daughter and hope that you all have a lovely new year, take care.
cleo
 
Posts: 238
Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2013 2:21 pm

Re: Reunion Progress

Postby Donotunderstand » Tue Dec 31, 2013 9:27 am

Hi Butterflylady,

Thanks for the update. Its really good to hear that your reunion is going so well. You said you had a copy of the adoption certificate - did that have your daughters adopted name on it?
Aunt to a sibling group split up by Adoption and Residence Orders. Mum to birth children age 28 & 26, and adopted 14 year old (youngest of the sibling group)
Donotunderstand
 
Posts: 173
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2012 7:07 pm

Re: Reunion Progress

Postby butterflylady » Tue Dec 31, 2013 8:58 pm

Hi Cleo

Thank you for your kind response, yes it really is amazing how thing are progressing for us but there are times when we have to have quiet time.

I'm not sure how long it was before you and your son met up from the initial contact but it could be that things moved pretty quickly and before he knew it he was confused by his emotions and how much he realised you loved him and therefore needed to pull back to take stock of the whole reunion.

Whatever you do don't give up I don't think your son would want you too either if truth were known, I'd say send a text to tell him you will be there for when he is ready to continue with reunion but would like to receive the occasional text to let you know how he is doing and maybe a photo of your grandson occasionally.

Wishing you all the best for 2014.

Hi Donotunderstand

In reply to your question the answer is no I didn't have my daughters name but her A.Mum's surname and the county luckily it wasn't a common surname.

Again best wishes to you for 2014.
butterflylady
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Sun Dec 23, 2012 11:49 pm

Re: Reunion Progress

Postby cleo » Wed Jan 01, 2014 1:13 pm

Hi all,

I have not been too involved this last year with texting my son i have perhaps sent 3 texts in all of this year, i have given him space as he has asked, but get so upset when i know he's liking or commenting on his friends photos on FB, but doe'snt have time to send me a photo of my grandson which he promised over a year and a half ago? And to know he's closed down his email account and now over xmas finding out that he has moved house!!! ;-(
Heartbroken....my heart is no longer broken but shattered......sorry
cleo
 
Posts: 238
Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2013 2:21 pm


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