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First in general

PostPosted: Mon Jan 01, 2018 1:52 am
by athensrunner
As I said in the Christmas Blues post I will expand further on the gift issue here. I would love to hear what was your first gift to your child/parent.

When I met my son in September I had already "given" him a gift...when I first found his name and details I left a letter and Banksy reproduction of "Laugh Now" for him. However, being in our first year of reunion I thought long and hard about what to give him as a birthday/Christmas gift (his birthday in in January).

In a couple of my messages to my son I had asked if it is OK to send him a gift and if so where to send them too...I do not want to send him a gift to the house he shares with his adad but he has not responded to that request. Then again, I am lucky...we have a mutual "friend", my son's best friend (apperantly) and my art I asked our friend if he would be OK to pass on a gift...which our friend is more than happy to do.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand...after thinking long and hard about what giving my son for my first proper gift to him, I wanted to give him something that potentially could become something he might one day pass down to his children...being originally from Norway it was a hard task as I wanted to give him something Norwegian...if my son had been a girl it would have been so Norway there is something called silje jewellery, delicate brooches etc...but nothing really for men. Many well meaning friends suggested things like watches or cuff-links...but they are a dime a dozen.

I knew I wanted to give him something from me and Norwegian...then I found it...OK the English version of it...I stumbled upon a book an English version of a book I had as a child...a book of Norwegian Folk Tales and I know he wants to try some Snus (Scandinavian tobacco). So for my first proper gift to my son will be box of "my Norwegian childhood/teen years", so the book, the Snus and some of my favorite sweets from when I was a child.

As I said, I would love to hear what your first gift was or you thinking of giving.

Re: First in general

PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 4:22 pm
by cleo
Hi athens,

Sorry just saw this on chit chat.

Oh woah that lovely, i hope your son enjoys reeading the book and a puff on the snus, haha

Oh well i never really put much thought into the gifts for my son to be honest, it was Christmas time so i had in fact filled up one of those big Christmas bags that people buy in the uk. It was mainly clothes, t-shirts in the style that i'd though he'd like and guessing from the few photos i saw of how he dressed beforehand. But i did get 2 pr├ęsents in the bag which do mean alot, one was a glass guardian angel 'for my son' with an engraved verse on the glass plaque, and the other present which i gave to him a couple of days after, were a couple of little china meercats statues, as i am quite small i had to look up to my son, and he made the remark that i was like a meercat trying to stand up as tall as possible. I was Lucky to find these in a little shop nearby, and just had to buy them, i gave them to my son when we went on our walk at the end of december. At the time he was over-whelmed with the gifts and said that he'll have memories of me all over the house.

For his son i also did a big bag, one was a huge cuddly monkey with a baby monkey, my grandsons name in carved in wood and a pottery kit to do his hand prints in.
And then for his birthday i got him a wooly hat, clothes and toys, but nothing in particular.

But the last 5 years i have sent nothing, as you now, my son wants nothing from me, he has all he needs, which for me is heartbreaking, but i have come to accept things now, and i know it will never be the same again.

I am just so happy reading that things are looking good for you and your son and wish you both all the best for the coming year and hope you can both become closer to one another.

Mega hugs to you athens and lovely to hear from you x

Re: First in general

PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2018 6:57 pm
by athensrunner
Ok, thought I better update you guys that are not in the FB group....we have changed the name and opened it to others affected by adoption...feel free to join

So for my first proper gift for my son I sent him a book of Norwegian fairly tales, some Snus and some Norwegian sweets....I had to post it to our mutual friend and despite it being in Athens in time for his birthday (in January) he only was given it yesterday...timing issues...our friend and my son had not been able to meet up.

Anyway, our friend sends me a message with a picture of my son holding the book and the caption "A very happy man" son apperantly loved his gift and our friend honoured his promise for letting me know how it was received. (Our mutual friend is turning out out be a very good friend). Our friend told me that the gift went down a treat and as I said, my son loved his gift.

Our friend told me that my son has not contacted me because he has not been coping too well (finding out about me, his amother passing way, the economic situation in Greece etc) but is getting his life together and is better than he has been in ages. Our friend also told me that my son does not have any hard feeling or anything against me.

Then today my son sends me a message :D saying "thank you for the gifts they are lovely ,i'm on the run all the time lately searching for jobs/working cause we need money for the house loans and other law stuff we ll talk" Before my son even was aware that he was getting this gift I had a message from him saying that he is feeling that he was in a better place and that he wanted to Skype one of these days....I know I will see him in September and hopefully have a proper conversation with him before that.

Ok, so that is my positive news...I hope everyone is well and that life is treating you all great.