Practice/starter ex spouse stories

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Practice/starter ex spouse stories

Postby mh370malastsia » Thu Apr 17, 2014 12:04 pm

A few of us may be past our first marriages but the malady lingers on. We'd love to hear any fun stories from the past. Anything amusing and please, nothing depressing. Here's the first of mine:

So one night, the kids are sound asleep and the dog is, too, and I'm on my hands and knees washing the kitchen floor when he walks in from playing Bridge, sees me and asks what I'm doing.
Now, any sensible person would see the cleaner, the paper towels, the mop and just give a wild guess that I'm not in the midst of making Chocolate Mousse but I replied, "Washing the floor". It was a very big floor - over 300 sq. ft.

NOTE: We had the Armstrong linoleum installed earlier that year.

His words still remain with me: "I thought it was no wash".

I had to explain the difference between NO WASH and NO WAX.
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Re: Practice/starter ex spouse stories

Postby Turtle » Thu Apr 17, 2014 2:43 pm

Spam - Post reported.
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Re: Practice/starter ex spouse stories

Postby ladyarcher » Fri Apr 18, 2014 10:26 pm

In the days when I was married the first time, you got a small lump sum for your first baby......I think the idea was that it helped to buy equipment, and usually it seemed to be spent on 'the pram'........ not our £25 however......... my ex was a keen if rather random player of musical instruments......he had a rather nice vintage banjo, which he could play by ear......but he wanted an organ.....I don't even remember now, where he saw it.....probably in the local classified......but there it was, a sweet little harmonium, with pipes, stops, swell bars, and 'mouse proof' that was what our baby grant was spent on.....I wax polished it lovingly, and it had pride of place in our first house. He played it incessantly...ok...but when you have heard Greensleeves about thirty times in an evening.....each time with a different arrangement of the 'stops', and are constantly exhorted to say which version is do go 'off' the tune a bit.....and you can't put a baby in a harmonium...

...we did manage to get a pram......Mothercare of the first full size prams which you could demount from the chassis, fold the chassis up and stow it in the boot, and baby rode happily along sideways in the main body of the pram on the back seat of the car........shock horror from Health and Safety nowadays of course........I still have the pram, a bit battered now, but it has done all five of my children and some of my grandchildren.....another grandchild due in the summer, so it is time to get the pram out, chase away any mice, and spiders, give it a good scrub in the sun, and it will be ready to go again at 46 years old.......

...when we divorced I kept most of the furniture as his new 'squeeze' did not want it ...... so I kept the organ too.....however when I met my 'new to be' husband, he also already had a houseful of stuff, so some things on both sides had to go........sadly, the organ was one of the things we had not room was bought by a friend of my a.mother's who had always wanted, forty years on, I wonder if that friend is still alive, - my a.mother isn't - and what has happened to the little organ...... it is a shame I don't still have it, as our youngest son, from my second marriage is amazingly musical, can play anything he hears by ear on any instrument, and composes too....... and would have loved it....

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