dose anyone know what to do

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dose anyone know what to do

Postby sweet12 » Tue Jan 07, 2014 11:00 pm

hi all for the past few days all I want to do is eat and eat am feeling so down as I lost 4 children to adoption and just had a baby boy and now hes 5 months old I love him so much but don't like feeling this way anyone know whats wrong with me
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Re: dose anyone know what to do

Postby ladyarcher » Wed Jan 08, 2014 12:12 am

Hello Sweet12, and welcome .....

.... you say you have lost four children to adoption ...... that must have been awful for you, but also there must have been reasons ...... if you feel that the reasons were your fault, then eating is going to be a way of consoling yourself and trying to bury your feelings of guilt ...... maybe you were careless about getting pregnant ...maybe you were too young and could not support a baby, or a family........maybe the person/people who you mixed with were not suitable to raise children.......maybe you, or your partner(s) has had a bad drink or drug habit, maybe your partner was abusive.......maybe you put a bad partner before your children........ maybe ....lots of things......

You say your new baby is five months old ........ so you had him in the summer, and things never look too bad in the summer.......however if you are alone then it is not so easy living with a small baby in the winter, no matter how much you love him.....doing anything is more difficult,..... going out shopping, pushchairs, many more layers of jumpers and coats, for you and for him......everything is a great deal more effort in the winter.......and if you are not very old you see young people going out and you can't go........

At what age were your other children when they were adopted ....... did you lose them all together as a family group, or did you 'manage' with each one until they were about five or six months and then have to let each one go as they reached that age.......whatever the reasons for losing the others ....... then it is bound to have an effect on you and how you cope in the future........eating to excess can have a number of 'triggers' ....... it may be a comfort to feel may be there is nothing to do, and no-one to talk to, so something in your mouth gives you something to do ........have you possibly just given up smoking.......because a lot of people find that the habit of having something in their mouth is difficult to food and or sweets will take the place of the cigarette.......well done, by the way, if you have given up smoking......or cut it down a lot .........

Whatever seem to be the surface reasons for events in your life, there are going to be far deeper reasons and feelings, that you will need to get through and learn how to deal with if you are to find any level of happiness.......

LA -
born 1944 - adopted 1946 - found b.father and b.mother, and eventually after searching for forty years, found full sister.....
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