father's day

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Moderator: AfterAdoption

father's day

Postby ladyarcher » Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:45 pm

I meant to put this up earlier today........it is just a post to remember all our 'absent' fathers on fathers' day.....

...sadly I do not remember my b.father, although he was in my life for my first 18/19 months........and even more sadly I did not attempt to trace him in time, and he had already died....worse was that he had always thought of his two English daughters......myself and my full sister ......and worried and wondered what had happened to us......just a little more speed on my part, a little less putting off things 'til tomorrow.......and I could have set aside his sadness and worry........we always think we have 'forever' to do something........but we haven't ...... 'do it now' is a better motto than 'tomorrow will do'.......

So for all the fathers of adoptees, if you knew about your son or daughter, I hope you have found him or her, or he or she has found you.......and you can set worries aside........if today you are thinking of the child you do not know........make an effort ......most of the 'searching' emphasis is put on finding b.mothers........but adoptees need our b.fathers too...

..and adoptees......not all men are 'love them and leave them' ....... there are good men amongst the b.fathers.......men who might have helped, and stepped up, if they had been given the chance ......often they were not.....often they too did not get support........especially well into the past........

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Re: father's day

Postby Lowrider Lincoln » Mon Jun 17, 2013 10:10 am

That is a pleasant thought LA.

My BF was named in my adoption file but not on my birth certificate. I have a name and approximate age, a brief physical description, town he lived in, but not necessarily born in. Probably not enough info to trace accurately trace him.

As yet I don't know if he knows about my birth or not.

When I found out his name I was gobsmacked to discover my son shares the same christian name as he does, our daughter was given names from both our families, our sons name came from nowhere, it just sounded right - coincident ? Another thing I discovered was that my BF had the same profession as myself, a long distance trucker. The sort of job that doesn't suite everybody, more a way of life than a career - coincident ?

Somethings seemed to be passed on in our genes, other things like these are not hereditary, but maybe there are things within our personalities that have been past onto us that cannot be explained. Fascinating when you think about it.

At the moment I have made the first initial steps to make contact with BM. Although I haven't got an address, I do have a possible one of another family member. This may lead into contact with her and that may there lead into more info about BF. I might be trying to predict too far forward there, but who knows.

Take care xxx.
Lowrider Lincoln
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