Adopting after adoption.

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Adopting after adoption.

Postby Mlisa » Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:23 am

Hi, I just wanted to know if there are any families out there who have already adopted and would like to adopt again, and if so how they got on.
My husband and I adopted our first daughter 6 years ago and 2 years later her birth sister also came home to us. We are settled and happy but we don't feel our family is complete yet and would like to adopt another baby/child, I know that when I spoke to a team member at the adoption team we went through she was very dismissive as we already have 2 children, but as we feel that we have the space,time and lots of love to give another child we were quite upset to think that there are children who need homes and we can not be considered !!
I would be interested to hear what other adopters think and to find out others experiences.
Mlisa
 
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Re: Adopting after adoption.

Postby ladyarcher » Tue Nov 01, 2011 5:55 pm

Hello Mlisa and very very welcome......... I am not answering your question as I have never adopted....... I am however a - rather old - adoptee who was adopted separately to my full sister over sixty years ago. I found out about her when I was 25 and searching for my birth mother....... I found birth mother quite quickly, but it took me forty years to find my sister........ if you have read other posts on here you will have read about it.......... so, from one separated pair of sisters I thank and congratulate you for taking your two, so that one or other of them will not have to search for nearly a lifetime.

My sister is great, she is only sixteen months younger than I....... we were brought up only about ten or so miles apart, even going to the same riding stables...... but at that time neither of us knew of the other's existence ....... in fact my sister never knew she had a full sister until she decided to search when she was 63 and found my message on the Adoption Contact register.......... we should never have been separated, but my a.mother got first choice somehow, and only wanted one child...... my sister's a.mother would have had us both, but was never given the chance......... we should not have been taken for adoption in the first place as our birth father wanted us, and his wife wanted to adopt us, but it at the end of the war, and it was just quicker for the authorities to get us off soon, rather than going to the trouble of getting us to Canada........ I was two by then, and then children that age were more 'difficult' to place than little babies...... and there were plenty of little babies available just after the war...

Anyway, that was all a long time ago........ I am just happy that your two are not separated, it means a lot if you find out you should have had your sister all your life and didn't.........

LA
born 1944 - adopted 1946 - found b.mother 1972 - sadly missed b.father who died young but who had told his subsequent children they had two English sisters so when I made contact with them in Canada they were not shocked....... finally found full sister, adopted separately, two years ago, after a forty year search.
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Re: Adopting after adoption.

Postby Mlisa » Thu Nov 03, 2011 8:00 pm

Hello, thank you for your positive approach to my question. If there are to be any subsequent children from the birth parents of my 2 girls I would want them, but sadly I don't see that happening now. There are 4 siblings that are older than my 2 girls, they are all placed together in another adopted family and we see them regularly and all 6 children have a fantastic bond and have always known about each other so hopefully they will never experience heart ache as you did. I am pleased that you found your siblings and wish you every happiness xx
Mlisa
 
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Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2011 10:25 am

Re: Adopting after adoption.

Postby ladyarcher » Thu Nov 03, 2011 8:23 pm

That's an amazing story Mlisa...... congratulations and respect to the a.parents of the other four as well, and to both sets of a.parents for keeping up the links for the children.........amongst so many unpositive stories it is heartening to hear a positive one......
LA
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