the feelings of adopted children

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the feelings of adopted children

Postby brushwood7 » Wed Jul 13, 2011 7:01 pm

Hi to all i was adopted in 1952,and lived in rye sussex,i was born in brighton,when i was told i was adopted i was too young to understand what this really meant,but at sixteen years of age i couldnt stop thinking about it,all i wanted to do was find my birth parents,i felt there was something missing,i didnt feel like a complete person,i couldnt identify with my family obviously because i was nothing like them,i am certain everyone who has been adopted has experienced this same feeling that something is missing kind regards.
brushwood7
 
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Re: the feelings of adopted children

Postby ladyarcher » Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:37 pm

Hello Brushwood, so sorry I did not see your first posting yesterday........blame a computor hiccup and also an impending daughter's wedding so not quite so watchful on the site as usual.........

Coming up to the big 'six 0' is one of the sort of trigger times that set adoptees wondering 'who' and 'why' etc, although it also has to be said that if it has been left 'til that age it is likely that some of the answers are going to be hard to get as it is probable that the two main players originally are not going to be still around.................having said that, there is no reason not to try to find out whatever is out there somewhere..........a lot depends on how much you already know, such as what adoption agency was used, if one was.........it was not always the case as many adoptions were still organised sort of semi privately, because a doctor knew the b.mother and also had a patient who could not conceive.....an arrangement or agreement would be made, and solicitors contacted to do all the legal bit............... adoptions were also quite often between members of the same family, or friends, or even neighbours....... it is, of course, more 'policed and structured by the social services and agencies now........

Have you any paperwork to start you off, maybe a copy of your adoption certificate, or bills from a solicitor to your a.parents ......often such things are found when doing the sad job of clearing a house after the death of the adopting parent............. do you have a copy of your original birth cert. with your birth name......... have you written to the Adoption Contact Register to see if anyone is looking for you......... this Register is held by the Govt.Records Dept. It is not a search facility, it is simply a 'sleeper' service that was set up around twenty years ago....... you register as looking for anyone to do with your birth family, and also as being willing to be contacted by anyone who is looking for you.......... it does work, I had been looking for my full sister for thirty-five years when I put a message on the Register, soon after it had been set up..........Fifteen years later, my sister at the age of 63 decided to look for her roots........and my message 'pinged up' as soon as her social worker started looking..... This was two years ago now, and we are having fun making up for lost time........ i.e. our whole childhood and adult life to date........

There may well still be relatives of your birth mother alive, possibly half siblings, the possibilities are always there.........come back to this site for more help and information, there is always someone who can help.........

LA
born 1944 - adopted 1946 - found b.mother 1972 - sadly missed b.father who died young, but who had told his subsequent children that they had two English sisters so when I made contact with them in Canada it was not a shock to them...........finally found full sister who was adopted separately, two years ago after a forty year search......I found out about her when I was 25.........we had been brought up withing ten miles of each other, and even used the same riding stables.......
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