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School and potty training

PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 7:23 am
by Lincolnmum
Our 3 year old has very mild cerebral palsy, it effects his left arm but you wouldn't know it was there if you weren't told. However although he was 3 in January he has shown no inclination to potty train and I am not even sure he has the sensation of going to the loo, his nursery have tried with us and although he will sit on a potty or toilet seat he has never actually done anything while on them. Does anyone have any experience of what happens if a child is not potty training but school time, especially if they don't really have any other major physical needs

Re: School and potty training

PostPosted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 10:59 pm
by ladyarcher
Bit of a difficult one, this one........three is still quite little really, plenty of skills are still not synchronised in ability at that age......for example a child may be very good with a spoon, yet not good with a crayon or pencil........two things that you would think would be about level as a skill.......some can run and kick a ball well at two........others will have no idea how to judge the speed and distance of a ball and get their foot to it at the right time and angle even at four......

...........at least your little one will sit on a pot happily.......and that is very important........you don't want to put him off doing that by letting him see you are being anxious that he is not actually going to the toilet........if you do, then he probably won't sit on the pot, or go to the toilet.......do you see what I mean........

Do you keep him in a nappy for the convenience of not having wet clothes and puddles in public......if you do, I would suggest that you try to leave a nappy off as much as possible so that he can associate the wetness with a 'feeling'........perhaps he is just not connecting the two things in his mind.......it is sometimes said that children got out of nappies earlier years ago, because the old style towelling nappies were so uncomfortable and heavy when wet......the modern ones the child hardly knows are there, and weeing in them does not make them uncomfortable, or notice what has happened at all.....

You could, of course, go down the whole route of having checks and medical examinations.....but in my view that would probably upset him and make him self-conscious about the whole 'loo' scene, and you don't want that.........I would leave it a bit longer, and as I said, leave the nappies off whenever you can, and persuade friends and grandparents not to comment or question in front of him either.........I would add that the younger two of my five children were bed wetting several nights a week right up until they were nine or ten........they are in their thirties now ........I never bothered about it, just changed the sheet if they woke up, which they often didn't.........they are in their thirties now, and have no 'hang-ups'.........whereas an acquaintance of mine with a boy the same age as my son, took her son up to all sorts of specialists and clinics and did 'star charts', and got cross too.......and her son did not get dry until well after my two.......

...I think it unlikely that the slight cerebral palsy would be significant.....one of my older grandsons has cerebral palsy, and is quite affected down one side, leg, arm, and eye, but has not had any problems toilet-wise.......he is now a teenager, but when he was little he used to scare me witless with rushing about, up and down stairs and in the garden, I was always waiting for him to fall over.....however he never let his awkwardness and poor balance stop him, and in fact rarely fell.....just sent my hair grey.....he was a bright intelligent little boy, and is now a bright intelligent young teenager.......one has to remember that CP is a mechanical problem, not a mental one......

Having just done the maths, I realise that your son is the same age as my youngest grandson who is just about trustworthy nappyless these last few weeks, but not dry at night.......if he 'goes' just before bedtime, he will sometimes go right through, but more often not........so the 'urge' to wee is not strong enough to wake him.....although it is mostly strong enough to give him time to get to the loo in the daytime, but not always.........we used to 'lift' our two youngest when we went to bed, but they would still wet the bed later in the night.....however the older three were all dry in no time at all.......which just shows how different they can all be, even with the same parents.........I shouldn't worry too much yet .........

It occurs to me that you are posting on an adoption site.......does this mean that your little one is adopted .......whether he is or not, you are welcome to keep coming back here for help and support...

LA
born 1944 - adopted 1946