SHOULD I CONTACT BIRTH COUSIN

Moderator: AfterAdoption

SHOULD I CONTACT BIRTH COUSIN

Postby julie2009 » Tue Aug 25, 2015 3:36 pm

Some of you may remember my contact with my birth aunt ceased last August her decision not mine. I noticed her daughter on FB and was wondering if I should pm her to ask her to contact me without her mother's knowledge to see if she knows anything about my half siblings.

Part of me wants to do this while the other part feels it may open up a new can of worms.

Can someone please advise me what I should do for the best.
julie2009
 
Posts: 519
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:42 pm
Location: co. antrim

Re: SHOULD I CONTACT BIRTH COUSIN

Postby Donotunderstand » Wed Aug 26, 2015 10:49 am

I think it would be unfair to ask her to keep secrets from her mother. Perhaps you could just send a friend request to start with and then wait for things to progress naturally. You might find your siblings on her friends list and be able to contact them direct (presuming they are all adults so you're not doing anything underhand)

Are you on the Forum Facebook Group? You might get more help there.
Last edited by Donotunderstand on Wed Aug 26, 2015 11:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
Aunt to a sibling group split up by Adoption and Residence Orders. Mum to birth children age 28 & 26, and adopted 14 year old (youngest of the sibling group)
Donotunderstand
 
Posts: 173
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2012 7:07 pm

Re: SHOULD I CONTACT BIRTH COUSIN

Postby julie2009 » Wed Aug 26, 2015 11:11 am

I was thinking that myself hence opening a new can of worms. I have looked at her friend's list and thought I had found one of the siblings but it turned out it wasn't her.
I'll need to think it over again as I don't want to offend anyone. One of the traits of an adoptee always trying to please others.

Hope things are good with you and thanks again for your reply.

Julie xx
julie2009
 
Posts: 519
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:42 pm
Location: co. antrim

Re: SHOULD I CONTACT BIRTH COUSIN

Postby Donotunderstand » Wed Aug 26, 2015 11:20 am

Its so hard to know what to do as I've found out with my daughters siblings. I think a friend request would be the best way to go, your cousin can accept or refuse.
Aunt to a sibling group split up by Adoption and Residence Orders. Mum to birth children age 28 & 26, and adopted 14 year old (youngest of the sibling group)
Donotunderstand
 
Posts: 173
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2012 7:07 pm


Return to Adopted People

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests

cron