Moderator: AfterAdoption


Postby L12 » Fri Aug 01, 2014 8:41 am

Hello all.... i've not been this way for a while but i wanted to let you know about a big change to my life.

Contact with my birth family has sadly dwindled to the odd email and then just about factual stuff (the weather, where they've been etc etc). My BM seems unable to discuss anything on an emotional level... she had my adoption so well buried for 40 years and even though it's now 'out there' i think she struggles greatly with what happened then (she went on to marry my BF 3 years later and have 2 further children). They all live in Zimbabwe and i went to visit them just over 2 years ago and from then contact seems to have lessened .... any way it is as it is .

I was conceived in Africa and my Bm was born there, my Birth Family have been there for over 60 years.

I have a desire..a need to get to know the place that i came from and i want my children to know it too..... so on the 23rd August we moving to Tanzania for 2 years!
I have been looking for jobs in Africa for over a year and then i saw this one, my husband applied and was offered a 2 year contract.... so off to Africa we are going :P
Accommodation and school fees are paid for and we are renting our house out. We both have handed our notices in at work... so no turning back now!

I told my BM we are moving and i received a factual response (where, how long?, etc)... there wasn't any 'we must meet up', 'can we come and see you' etc but never mind i hadn't expected any.

I feel quite empowered... i feel that i'm not beholden to anyone... i feel i'm starting the beginning of a journey to discover who i am, where i came from... the stuff at my very core .... and i feel excited.
Intercountry adoption at 6 days in 1969.
Found BM in Apr 2010 after 13 year search.
Discovered that BM has been married to BF for 40 yrs and i have 2 full siblings. Met birth family in Dec 2010 in England, spent an African Christmas with them in 2011.
Posts: 26
Joined: Wed Apr 07, 2010 6:21 pm
Location: UK

Re: Identity

Postby ladyarcher70 » Fri Aug 01, 2014 11:07 pm

Brilliant........that is so brave, very good luck to you - do keep us updated on how you get on and what it is like..........

now aka LA70
Posts: 101
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2014 2:37 pm

Re: Identity

Postby Donotunderstand » Mon Aug 04, 2014 8:31 am

Wow, thats fantastic. It will be a great experience for all of you!
Aunt to a sibling group split up by Adoption and Residence Orders. Mum to birth children age 28 & 26, and adopted 14 year old (youngest of the sibling group)
Posts: 174
Joined: Sat Sep 01, 2012 7:07 pm

Re: Identity

Postby sylvie » Sun Oct 12, 2014 2:31 pm

I wish you the very very best. I think it is really healthy to listen to yourself on a deep level and respect what you hear about what you need.
Reunited with my beloved son after decades of separation which began when I was a young teenager and he was newly born, and finally ended a few years ago when we met again as fully-grown adults.
Posts: 308
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 9:39 pm

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