How often do you think about them?

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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby julie2009 » Mon Jul 07, 2014 10:23 am

Hi Cleo

It was after I had my second child I was just sitting one night and decided to find out about my own past. I had a difficult birth and pregnancy so alarm bells starting ringing and also I had a few health related matters to I needed answers to.

Sadly Cleo I don't know what her reaction was because she died at the age of 41. I would have been around 15 at the time and this is the reason I decided to trace her sister through the aid of a local newspaper ad in her hometown. Before this I decided to trace my BF as his name was on my papers and out of the blue one day I received an email from this person saying he did have a relationship with my BM but nothing else. I emailed him straight back saying who I was. He tried to say he didn't even know I existed and had often wondered what had happened throughout my BM pregnancy. We emailed on and off for a while and then it all fizzled out. At one point he said he felt it best if I told my own mum that I had made contact. i didn't think Cleo he had the right to say that and I told him how I felt.

Sometimes Cleo it is the not knowing that hurts but then what you don't know sometimes can't hurt either it that makes any sense.

Take care

Julie xx
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby cleo » Tue Jul 08, 2014 2:41 pm

Hi julie

Thanks for your reply, sorry to hear about your B.mum, thats another thing i'm worried about too, that if my sons never contacts me, but then one day he decides the time is right, but i am no longer here, how would he feel, i don't want to leave this earth knowing that things went wrong for whatever reason my son has blocked me out of his life..... not even a goodbye...i am totally lost with my feelings to be honest i'm going going back and forth, but as time goe's by i am slowly thinking maybe its for the best, i was never part of his life, he is surrounded by alot of what i call "beautiful" people, i don't belong in that catergory.

The thing that hurts the most is that we got on so well as if we had known each other all our lives.......i guess i got to close to him and got burn't in the meantime.
It was easier not knowing i guess about him, just something nagging when it was his birthday and Christmas, but now i know about him the pain is worse, sometimes unbearable, but i have to get to grips and tell myself that i was even Lucky to have our paths cross.

I think its unfair the way people are to each other with emotions as high especially in adoption, i feel so empty without my son and Grandson, like there is a big hole, but there is nothing i can do except wait and hope, but i think the waiting game has come and gone, my son found me, knows about me, and can get on with his life.....leaving me in "Wonder" land all over again......i will talk again soon Julie, thankyou for writing back
cleo
 
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby julie2009 » Wed Jul 09, 2014 3:29 pm

Hi Cleo

Thank you for your reply. I too feel like a stranger towards my BM sister and her family. Don't get me wrong she doesn't owe me anything but in her emails she is very to the point and again it is me who instigates these emails. It would be nice to receive one from her out of the blue. I can't understand what happened because she used to keep in contact with me on a regular basis. I even said in my last email to her Cleo maybe hearing from me was dragging up too much of the past but the email bounced straight back so she didn't receive it. I sent an earlier one today but again I haven't heard back from her and the obvious thing is she has an IPhone so it is not as if she could be on holiday and cannot get replying to me.

Again the waiting begins. I also get the impression she doesn't give me the proper answers. I know she is answering on behalf of her sister but when I enquire about what her sister was like she just says she kept a lot of things to herself and did suffer in silence. In her last email I felt I was the reason behind all this and then I told myself I was only a baby and didn't ask to be born but it was just one of those things.

You are right Cleo there are a lot of emotions involved in adoptions and many adoptees and birth mums like yourself will agree.

Take care and hugs

Julie xx
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby cleo » Wed Jul 23, 2014 6:09 pm

Hi julie,

sorry i have'nt replied for a while, i have been thinking alot of things about my son, i try and earch the web hoping to get a glimse of him or my Grandson somewhere, i photo that may of been posted on another site or whatever.

I keep thinking should i try and contact his mum as i am sure she would like to know about me, i say this as when my son first contacted ùe he siad his mum and dad were always honest about his adoption, they were always the ones who brought the subject up, but he'd close down and not talk about it.

But then i think what if i did find his mum, how would my son react, as if i was going behind his back in a way!! i just don't know...at the moment i feel as though i should just let go, like he has done to me, its coming up to 3 years since i last heard from him, i have to face the fact that i may never hear from him again, which upsets me so much after waiting for him for so long.

I have also thought about trying to see him were he works, but so afraid of his reaction too, i just go around in circles in my mind to be honest, not knowing what to do for the best...thinking is it for the best or should i be brave and try and find out what went wrong?.....i,m in turmoil with all my emotions.

I have watched a couple of series from long lost families as i do not get the programmes here so have to Watch on the internet..i get upset by most of the stories told, and think why cannot my son understand how must still be feeling.

And yes the waiting game is the worse i guess, sometimes i wish my son never came looking for me, although i know deep down that that is was i have always wanted, to know that he is alive and doing well...which he is, he has a fab life and has had a fab upbringing, not a lifestyle i could of given him, so my choice was the right one in that respect, i just miss that we cannot carry on getting to know each other now, why he cut me off as though i never existed. Like you looking back i never got any real answer i suppose, i never really dared to ask at the time for fear of prying, but now i regret that, i should of asked him a million things.

My son also has an iPhone, i don't think i have been blocked from that yet, the last time i sent a message to him for his birthday i got my phone saying message sent....so i gather he did recieve it...but on his mails, i get my letters sent back saying message failed, adress no longer exists......

I hope you are doing ok, take care and hope to hear from you in the near future
cleo
 
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby julie2009 » Thu Jul 24, 2014 9:57 am

Hi Cleo

Good to hear from you again. Personally Cleo I don't think it would be wise to contact his mum especially without him knowing. It could cause problems and make matters worse. I can understand your frustration but I don't think you did anything wrong but I was the same when I didn't hear back from my BM sister I had thought I had offended her in some way but thinking back I know I didn't because I am not that type of person and you must realise the same. I know it is hard Cleo but it just one of those things. You have your life and he was his. Sometimes it is not getting in touch in the first place that hurts the most because I had wondered if my BM had ever considered tracing me and then I discovered she died at the age of 41. I had to rely on an ad in their local town's newspaper for tracing lost relatives to find this information out and the person who told me this told me she knew the family well but my BM sister insists she had never heard of this person - strange.

I have watched that programme too where it gives the impression that all reunions are happy and continue but do they really? I can understand wanting all the questions answered but again like you Cleo I didn't want to make the person feel they were under pressure from me and like you sometimes I wish I hadn't of bothered with it all in the first place but I put it down to curiousity on my part.

If you really feel you have to Cleo I would send another message to his phone just as a way of asking if he is keeping OK and if he wants to get in touch he can at any time - just let him know that the door will always be open if and when he decides to get in contact.

Thanks for asking Cleo. I have a bit of a chesty cough at the minute for still working away no matter what. Hope you are keeping well yourself.

Julie xx
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby cleo » Sat Aug 02, 2014 1:11 pm

Hi julie,

just got back from a trip to the uk, i did'nt go to see my son or even tell him i was over, he probably would not be interested anyway, as he has still not contacted me, and its been 3 years now since he first contacted me.

I feel as though i should just forget any of this ever happened, i cannot make him want to see me, he is the one who started the ball Rolling so to speak and then suddenly popped the ball.....

I have'nt had the guts to search for his mum, although in the back of my mind i would love to see her and just talk a while with her...but with things as they are with my son i think i should just let things run their course, not only that but i have had a few problems in my family too, so feeling abit put out by everything, or maybe i'm just being paranoid...

I feel so sad Inside because i am helpless and don't know what to do, apart from letting go of everything, i wish things could be different and just be happy, i don't ask for alot in life, i don't need flashy cars or be a perfect person, i just want to be happy, my son did that a couple of years ago, but soon wiped the smile from my face, i seem to be sad all the time, although i still smile on the outside!!

My life is in turmoil, i don't know what direction i'm heading, i should be happy, but i just cannot get my son out of my system......i just keep thinking about little things he said at the time, he called me mum, he said he loved me....he said i was the best 2nd mum he could of hoped for....so why the break-up......

I guess i cannot keep torturing myself like this, he obviously has decided he wants nothing to do with me, my door will always be open for him, but he has locked himself on the other-side, with a sign saying "do not disturb"

I will talk again soon, but for now i will dwell on what i had for a short while, and realising the final words my son said....., that we should slow down and at least now we now about each other, whereas before we knew nothing.

Take care x
cleo
 
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby julie2009 » Wed Aug 06, 2014 9:30 am

Hi Cleo

Hope you enjoyed your little trip. I don't know if you already know but my birth aunt emailed me last week to say that reliving past memories is taking too much out of her and to leave things. Like you I went over in my head did I say something I shouldn't and lay awake the other night dwelling on what she said.
She then suggested I contact my BF. I already had but never told her that because she hates him with a passion. She can't even bear to call him by his first name so that says it all. She then contacted me at work last week and I tried to tell her several times I would ring her back but she wouldn't listen.
She kept saying have you any more questions for me because I will try and answer them all I can. I told her I hadn't and she said well I will let you go then.
I didn't like her attitude Cleo and to be honest for her age it wasn't acceptable. I actually emailed her back telling her this because she had upset me in front of some of my friends at work. She didn't reply. It was always me who sent the emails. I thought surely she would have remembered my birthday because she had the last two years but nothing this year. Now any link with my BM is well and truly broken. I travelled to see my in-laws last Friday and a few times I thought I was going to break down a few times but did manage to keep it together.

I don't think I will contact her again because I gave her another chance as she practically cut me off the phone one day for no reason at all. She never involved me in anything about her family so I was just a stranger. The ironic thing is I am travelling to the town where she lives with my mum and my kids on Monday.

Talk soon Cleo

Julie xx
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby cleo » Fri Aug 08, 2014 7:31 pm

Hi julie

I think its so sad when things break down for some unknown reason on the other persons side, that same person who could tell us so much we need to know, at the time i first saw my son my instincts were not too ask any questions, just enjoy the time we had together, he told me a little bit about his dad dying and that his mum was'nt coping too well at that time, but i never asked anything as i thought it might be prying.....looking back i wish i did ask questions....

I'm still so lost without him, wondering how it all went wrong, but cannot find any answers. Its it wierd that we go back to where we all live and be so close yet in our hearts the distance is so far... i guess that what saddens and hurts me the most, now knowing that these past 30 years my son grew up not far from where i lived, and still lives in the district somehere, but not sure of his whereabouts since his move.



I know what you mean about wanting to break down, i did have a few of those in the 1st few months that my son cut me off, i just could'nt control my emotions at all, but now i seem to get upset, but in some way keep telling myself, i did'nt break off the contact he did, why should i get myself in a state for somebody who i guess doe'snt really care for me deep down......i tell myself if he really cared then he would'nt of treated me this way...but then again maybe he is going through alot himself...i just don't know, i guess i try and see what maybe going on..but always hit a brick wall, and end up with a splitting headache.

I wish you all the best for your travels on monday julie, it cannot be easy for you, i guess we are all strangers to each, but yet there is a link that keeps us hanging on to abit of hope.....take care Julie and keep strong....i'm trying to keep strong but a day like today, abit of weakness crept in, so feeling abit low and i just shut my eyes and see images of the 1st day i met up with my son...such happy memories that i thought would last forever. x
cleo
 
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby julie2009 » Wed Aug 13, 2014 9:47 am

Hi Cleo

I travelled to the town where my BM was born on Monday and like you I didn't realise the street where she once lived was quite close to where we were and also her sister's house too. I was very nearly going to email her yesterday to say I was close to where she lived but I was concerned that she might feel that it was a threat that I was going to call to her house unexpectedly and then decided not to but if she had of still been in contact I would have been able to do this but sadly I couldn't.

Even in the shopping centres I was watching people closely encase I saw her and even one of her daughters because I know one of them works close to the shopping centre where I was but I didn't come across anyone.

You are right about breaking down Cleo. I have done it too but like you we have to remind ourselves we didn't do anything wrong it was the other people who decided to cut off contact and we must always remember that.

I was sitting the other night thinking to myself. I know my BM sister is travelling to Belfast next month to see a concert. I felt like going down and standing outside where the concert is taking place to see her in person for myself but her daughter will be accompanying her and the concert is sold out. The things we think of doing. It is actually 3 years this week when I started all this searching and sometimes I wish I had of left well alone.

Take care and chat soon Cleo

Julie xx
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby cleo » Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:25 pm

Evening Julie,

Like you, it is soon 3 years since my son 1st contacted me.... i have gone through my mind these past couple of weeks, what his real reason was in searching for me, but i will never know the truth.

There are days when i think, why did he ever bother looking for me after such along time, he told me he had always thought of looking for me, but always backed down, not knowing if i would want to know him even worse thinking that i would tell him that i regret having him..in fact all negative thoughts...yet now he knows everything was positive, i had waited every year hoping that he would contact....

I guess its hurts me alot knowing that he knew about me since a Young age, exactly where i used to live and that he could of at any time come looking for me, even his parents, because they showed him his birth certificate.

Sme days i get angry with myself letting myself get into such a whirlwind when i first met him, i should of known that this would of been too good to last...why do i say that..mainly because of the time scale. I let out my inner feelings to him, which was a big mistake on my part, i should know better, but at that moment in time, i just wanted him to know and feel that i have loved him from the start and always will, no matter how much he has hurt me now.

This afternoon i thought of something it may sound strange but he is the "son i never knew". I too sometimes wish he never came looking for me, yet behind all the pain i feel, i keep hanging onto a glimer of hope that one day, maybe one day he will get back in contact...although the chances are very slim.

I just wish i knew what i did so wrong, but i know it was him who cut the cord this time. Yes i have often thought about trying to find out where he lives now or try and find his mum, but what good would that do...but in another way, there cannot be anymore harm done, as he has hurt me in a way i cannot describe, the pain i feel somedays is too much to bare, but some how i seem to pull through it. Thinking i can get through this again, i did it once before....

Life can be very cruel to some people, i often ask myself what i have done so wrong to be treated like this, knowing there are other people out there that treat their children like muck and yet their children keep running back and defending their parents!!!

All i ever wanted in this life, was to be happy, thats all i want, to have a son that has finally found me and loves me for what i am ( he did call me mum twice and said he loved me)...but was he just saying that at the time Under the rollercoaster of emotions we were both going through...i guess so after being blocked from everything a couple of months down the line.

Soemtimes i feel as though i'm not making sense when i'm writing on this blog, i just seem to get lost in my emotions, emotions that i am slowy getting control of.....but he pain...the pain will never go away, my heart has been broken into so many pièces. It will never be mended now.

Thankyou for listening again Julie, i will let you know if i do decide to do anything, but for the moment i think i will wait until nearer my grandsons birthday, i have been collecting little bits and bobs over the months to put in his gift box, but wondering where to send it, i think the wisest thing is to send it to my sons work place, thats the only adresse i have anyway, and i don't want my Grandson to miss out, or do you think i'm being silly in sending him a parcel?

Bye for now, time to try and get some sleep........
cleo
 
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby julie2009 » Wed Aug 20, 2014 8:45 am

Hi Cleo

Sorry to hear you are still feeling very raw. Everytime I think about my day out last week I think how close I came to seeing the street where my BM grew up and also her sister's address. When I checked the map again I realised she didn't live too far away from where he arrived but I couldn't just walk up to her door and let her know who I am for fear of her treating me like a stalker and plus my mum and two kids were with me. Maybe if I had of been on my own it may have been a different story.

It was nice for you to hear that your son had said he had previously thought of looking for you. I think a lot of adoptees myself included have this image that mother and baby were never allowed to bond and only after receiving my own papers I discovered this wasn't true. I watched LLF last week and discovered that some of the BMs were allowed to take photos of their babies. Sadly I will never know if mine ever took any of me because I can't ask her sister but she did same something very strange when I first made contact with her "I look at you everyday" so I assumed she must be talking about a baby photograph because I hadn't even got round to sending her any photos of myself by then but again I don't think I will ever know.

I understand your anger Cleo I felt angry too and had to keep reminding myself I was the one who always kept in contact. So you keep telling yourself this too you have done nothing wrong it is just how things turned out. I keep going over what I said in my emails but I remember one of the last ones from her was that her sister was never the same person after she gave me up and in a response I said I felt partly responsible for this but then no baby asks to be born do they and we can't be responsible for our parents actions. Maybe if my BM was still alive things would be different. Maybe her attitude would be totally different to her sisters but I will never know now.

You are right Cleo about life being cruel while some others just sail along without a worry. Emotions can be up and down and play havoc with us.

That is a nice gesture for his son's birthday. I think you should send it to whatever address you have for your son but I would mark it Private and Confidential and hopefully your son will get in touch to even acknowledge it.

Take care Cleo and sent with hugs

Julie xx
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby cleo » Wed Aug 20, 2014 5:19 pm

Hi Julie,

Sadly i did'nt even think at the time of taking a photo of my son, i did'nt have a camera with me, its not like today with evrything high tech, smart phones etc, so sadly no i had no photo of my son as a baby...although when we did meet i did axiously ask him if he would send me a photo of what he was like as a new born, thankfully he did send me a couple, i have it with me laways on my phone now....but even to this day, i cannot remember what he looked like apart from dark hair and big eyes ;-)

The parcel is for my Grandson, but saldy won't hold my breath for any acknowlegement on my sons part, why...because last year i sent my Grandson a parcel too at his adress where he was still living, i knew the parcel was delivered, as it was recorded delivery...I hope that maybe i would at least get a thankyou....but nothing, then nothing at xmas and nothing either for both my sons and my birthday in january....so u see, its really a dead end...closed door for me.

But i still want to send my Grandson présents whatever. So i will.

Doe's your family know about what is going on in your life? Here only my husband knows, it was something ladyarcher said sometime in the past about one of my mails about my parents. But they do not know about my son contacting me, they have never ever spoken about him from the day i told them i was pregnant, that was it...i massive wall was built and hush hush. And with all the feelings i am going through at the moment, things that have lain dormant all these years, but now i'm having to face certain facts...i was in another world, and today it greives me so much what i did and how i coped with everything alone, somedays i think its just so unexplainable, but yes it did happen, and myself and my son paid the ultimate price of things done back then.....

What my parents did, or more to the point did not do to help me at that time, no support, lets just hide everything Under the carpet, out of sight out of mind i guess...and there was me thinking for over 30 years what i did was for the best......;but for who?

Am i the only one who lives in silence about what happened to me and my son, nobody to turn too apart from my husband, even with him now, things got abit too much, as i was getting so emotional about my son cutting me off, that now i have gone back into "quiet mode"....;apart from on this forum where i can talk to people who feel and understand what i am going through, or mostly what i'm going through, because everyone reacts different i know, but the hurt is the same.

The last text from my son was "thinking of a good day to meet up"..............then nothing 2 months after that he blocked me from everywhere?

If your mum had a photo of you then that is great, i always wondered what my son would look like, and he is gorgeous, he still has his dark hair and big eyes, lovely blue eyes ;-)

Yes i find sisters do not always have the same opinion, so maybe your mum would of been different, not only that but u were her baby too

Take care Julie and thankyou for replying every time to my mails, its like a breath of fresh air having this forum to go on xx
cleo
 
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby julie2009 » Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:35 am

Hi Cleo

I wouldn't even have thought of photographs it was just on that particular programme one of the birth mums had a baby of her baby and it started me thinking. I sat yesterday Cleo going through FB looking at my BM sister so happy with her daughter and grand-daughters. Don't get me wrong I had a great childhood with the best parents ever but when you become a parent yourself (I have 2 daughters) the old alarm bells start ringing and sometimes you wish they didn't but you have to find these things out for yourself.

In answer to your question my mum knows nothing about this but she did make a comment that day we were out that they had to wait for papers to arrive from the Courthouse in the town where we were visiting. I just commented maybe the girl who had me lived there and she said all she can remember is that there was a mother and baby home in this town and she could have lived there at the time little did she know I was born in the same town where I live now some distance away from where my BM lived. I couldn't hurt her Cleo it would just be too much for her and anyway I don't have any more contact with my BM sister.
I wouldn't even tell her I saw her daughters on FB encase she thought I was invading their privacy. She never told me the reason why her husband and daughter were sick probably felt I didn't have the right to know anything about her family. I even found out through FB that her daughter renewed her wedding vows last November.

I think a lot of parents had the same attitude as yours Cleo back then when they should have done more to help. I always remember my BM sister saying that if her mother had of still been alive things would have been much different but that wasn't the case. She still maintains that her father knew about the pregnancy but not about the adoption. Suppose men wouldn't have taken notice of such things back then but he must have known something.

Your son sounds very handsome indeed Cleo. My BM was described as being very nervous and kept her feelings to herself while her sister comes across as hard at times. You know the old saying Cleo you can choose your friends but not your family.

I enjoy hearing from you too and hopefully some day I will hear back that your son has got in touch.

Julie xx

I deleted all her emails as I was angry at the time
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby cleo » Wed Aug 27, 2014 10:59 am

Hi Julie,

Is'nt it sad that we have to go through FB and other means of social networks to get a glimpse of what is happening in out 'other' families lives?

I am the same although with FB my son has put everything on private settings so i cannot see anything apart from when he puts a photo up on his profile, but thats about once a year if i'm Lucky, but i have found him on another site where i can see a couple of photos fo my Grandson, and like you i just look i don't make any acknowlegement that i can see what he has put on through fear of him making all that private too.

I am so missing out on my beuatiful Grandson growing up, surely my son must knwo how painful it is for me, knowing now how i have felt about him all these years....but i just have to face the fact that he doe'snt want me in his life...for whatever reason he has decided.

I watched LLfmailies on monday as i am in the uk on Holiday for a week, and just cired my eyes out..............epspecially at the end when they say that everyone is frequently in contact and seeing each other.....

I wish sometimes they would put other 'failed' stories up and the pain that people go through when it all falls apart, but then again that doe'snt make good tv i guess!!

I have thought of trying to find out where my son may now be living but i don't have the heart to do it yet, something is holding me back, i guess i'm worried too about feeling as though i am stalking him in some way.

Its a horrible feeling of emptyness i have Inside and my emotions get tossed all over the place. I can get to grips with it all, but the pain will never go away, and the reason why he just cut me off is the hardest thing to understand, thats one thing i would deep down like to know and face him one day and ask him....why?

But i do not have the courage to face him yet, at the moment i know i'm so close to him in the same area, yet it feels as though we are worlds apart, not sure that makes sense, but.....

I am not an 'in your face' person and get frantic when something like going to Knock on his door or go and find his mum etc, i just seem to freeze and just let go and keep my distance.

I can undertsand you got rid of the emails, although i have still kept most of my emails from my son, i gave him photos of myself when i was younger the last time i saw him, but then that was it, he promised me a photo of my grnadson too, but i never ever got it :-(

I know my son is a stranger to me and cannot imagine what it mustb of been like for him growing up, today is the anniversary of his A.dad death, he died in 2011, before he found me, his dad was dying of cancer and i think that was the main reason he decided to take the step and look for me, my Grandson was a couple of months old at the time too, so alot of emotions for my son to deal with.

It was a tough year for my son i agree, but then he found me and we got on so well, maybe after all, iwas'nt such a good time for us to be reunited, i just don't know.

Anyway, my life is slowly getting back to how i used to live, son hidden in the closet with all my motherly emotions, keeping everything Under wraps, but always, always thinking of him, every night i wish him goodnight, i look at his babay photo on my phone still trying to remember when i was in hospital with him, i just miss him so much.


I cannot understand why life has to be so cruel to some of us who only want to show our love and just simply be happy, thats all i want, nothing dramatic or expensive, just a little text or smiley to say all is fine, but i guess thats just to much too ask.

Dear Julie i am babbling on again, sat in front of my screen, i wish for both us us and the others who are suffering on this forum that there was an solution, but sadly there is not and life must go on.

I will write again soon and i think of you and your silent suffering too, i thought maybe i would be the only one who has'nt told anyone else, but relieved in a way to know that your parents do not know either.

Take care x
cleo
 
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Re: How often do you think about them?

Postby julie2009 » Thu Aug 28, 2014 2:08 pm

Hi Cleo

Sometimes FB can be a nuisance but helpful at the same time. I think I have found one of my BMs other daughters on it. She looks just like her.
I was actually going to set up a new profile different name etc but my current one will not let me as if I am trying to locate an old friend of my mums to see if anyone will take the bait but then I am afraid that I could open up a new can of worms.

Again on LLF I noticed all these baby photos being taken and I want to know if any were taken of me. I was going to email my BM sister just to ask her but I am concerned what her response will be. Will she ignore it or will she try to ring me at work again. Yesterday someone rang me and pronounced my name the way she used to and my heart sank because for one minute I assumed it was her. I was going to ask her if anyone of her sister's kids are on FB but she might think I am going to let them know who I am and tell me nothing. I just want to see what they look like - nothing else. Do you think I should or just leave it.

Sorry to hear you didn't hear back from your son. Did you send the present to his son yet for his birthday. As you say Cleo a wee email doesn't hurt but then not everyone thinks like that.

You are not babbling on at all you are just hurting like myself sometimes and we need to get these things out of our sytems with people who understand.

Take care and hugs

Julie xx
julie2009
 
Posts: 519
Joined: Wed Sep 16, 2009 2:42 pm
Location: co. antrim

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