Does it ever get any easier

Moderator: AfterAdoption

Does it ever get any easier

Postby tizzkins » Thu Feb 07, 2013 12:17 pm

Hi all i havent been on here for a while as i have had other issues with my adoption and reunion.

Sometimes i wish i could turn back the clock and not have gone through with the reunion i am finding things very hard at the minute.

Mainly my reunion ended in tatters i say ended but really thats part of the problem i cannot end it as i wish to. When people have been in your life you cant just erase them iam not sure what i am to do next. One of my brothers is into drugs drink and violence so why is it then i cant just forget him i have had no contact with him now for three years but i still find myself looking on facebook for any news of how he is why should i care? I dont understand any of this anymore and just want my life back. My sister as most of you will know from my other posts left the family shortly after my mother died when i found her it was fantastic, shortly after another of my brothers and i questioned my sister about our birth mums shady past it wasnt that we were trying to dig dirt on our mother just to find out the truth as we had had conflicting reports in our social services file. Not sure why as it was so long ago but it was important to us to know. Anyway it all ended badly as my sister couldnt see why we wouldnt take her word as gospel (which is hard when we dont know our sister) she thought we were ripping into our mums memory and tainting it. It is so hard though when one person says one thing and another the opposite and you dont know either of the people that well who should you believe. To this day also i dont know who my birth father is the man who is on my birth certificate and who also registered the birth is now saying he doesnt know if i am his or not and even if i am he doesnt want anything to do with me. I have said this on the group before but it still hurts like hell. My question about this is i have a father an adopted father so why is it still so important to me to know who my birth father is it really shouldnt matter as i have a father figure in my life i just dont understand my own mind really. Thanks for letting me sound off. Liz x
Posts: 130
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2007 3:43 pm
Location: Hertfordshire

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