Moderator: AfterAdoption


Postby skyebluepink » Sat Dec 24, 2011 3:34 pm

Hi everyone

Haven't been on the boards for the past couple of weeks - have had a lot to think about, as well as being really busy.

I have mixed feelings about Christmas this year. One the one hand I am so happy that I saw my bm the other day and she gave me a bag of presents and a lovely card. She even put a satsuma, apple and orange in the bag which is something she does for my half sisters, and that simple gesture means so much to me. This time last year all I knew was her name - I didn't know anything about her or whether I would ever find her. So to be celebrating christmas this year, knowing that I have my mummy in my life makes me feel so happy. I also feel hope for the future that I will get to meet my half sisters soon and that 2012 will be a good year.

However, the fact that I won't be able to see her on Christmas day, even though she only lives a couple of miles away makes things feel really hard. I know I can't see her because I still haven't met my half sisters, and my bd is still refusing to speak to me (though he has sent me a gift which I really wasn't expecting). I know she will be going to midnight mass tonight, and I would love to go there with her more than anything. And all this talk about a special baby being born makes me feel like I want to cry all the time too. Even though I will be having a lovely time with my adoptive family, I know I will be also thinking about my birth family all day.

I know that i am lucky though - that even though it may not be perfect, I do have contact with my bm, and we do have a special relationship. I know that not all of you have been that fortunate - some of you are still waiting, and some of you haven't been able to have a relationship with birth parents for one reason or another. So I will be thinking of all of you - whilst this is a wonderful time of year, it can also be a very difficult time. I hope you all have a happy and peaceful Christmas.

SBP xxx
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