Discuss Therapy for Young Adoptees

Ask members of TALKadoption about any adoption related issues.

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Re: Discuss Therapy for Young Adoptees

Postby skyebluepink » Thu Feb 07, 2013 11:22 pm

As a teacher I do come into contact with adopted children quite a lot - more than I realised I might. There is one girl in my form who quite openly told me she is adopted (as a baby) and that she thinks of her bm a lot. However she feels unable to talk to her a.parents because she doesn't want to upset them. It was so hard trying to balance being professional with also trying to offer her the support she needs. I ended up telling her that I was adopted and that I had just found my bm. Even though she seems to be perfectly fine and "ordinary" on an every day level, I do hope that she would come to me to chat about her feelings if she ever needed to. The comments about having mentors made me think of that story.
Come and read my random musings at www.skyebluepink.com
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Re: Discuss Therapy for Young Adoptees

Postby Donotunderstand » Sat Feb 09, 2013 10:36 am

SBP - a reminder to me that even in though I feel that we do talk about adoption we don't mention birth mum apart from the early days when she's mentioned in the life story book. My husband sees her occasionally when visiting his mum so he might mention her then but we don't actually TALK about her. I feel that despite not giving birth to her she is my daughter and I feel the same way about her that I do about my birth children and therefore it doesn't occur to me to talk about birth mum in relation to my daughter, more in the context of a distant relation. As we constantly talk about siblings I guess I should include birth mum too but its hard. Even if I do my daughter might not want to discuss her because as you say, she wouldn't want to upset me. I know she can't talk to her oldest birth sister because she hates birth mum to the extent that she will not be in the same room as her,

A "mentor" would be really helpful in this case.
Aunt to a sibling group split up by Adoption and Residence Orders. Mum to birth children age 28 & 26, and adopted 14 year old (youngest of the sibling group)
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