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Postby yvonne » Wed Nov 12, 2008 9:04 pm

Well im not sure where to start, does being adopted lead to depression in later life? ive been very lucky in tracing my bio mum, have got relationships wiv bio half sis n bro. but im finding it incrediblt hard to deal with, met my younger half bro a year ago and he has cut all contact with me and so has my bio mother after writing to me she has jst stopped. I find this such a knock to my confidence as my whole life i hav not been able to have a stable relationship and think everyone is going to leave me, im sure its linked to being left as a baby.

Does anyone kno where im coming frm??
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Postby j-h-g-5 » Wed Nov 12, 2008 11:31 pm

Speaking as someone who suffers with frequent bouts of severe depression, I would have to say no, it doesn't.

I strongly believe that some people are more prone to depression than others, but I wouldn't say that adoption is a cause of this. Some people are naturally optimistic, others pessimistic, and that has more of a bearing - I feel. Some people always think the glass is half empty, rather than half full!

To someone who suffers with depression, problems can come as a crushing blow, where as others find such things easier to deal with, it seems.

Depression can however be linked to a lack of self-confidence. I can see that, and certainly empathise there. Rejection can certainly lead to lack of self-confidence - although that isn't just an adopted person scenario.

Stable relationship? Yes please! Where??
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Postby Janej » Thu Nov 13, 2008 9:40 am

Hi Yvonne
I really feel for you, my best friend is prone to severe depression to the point of being suicidal at times and she is not adopted . She has found that her doctor is very sympathetic and has referred her for some counselling to address her issues with her lack of self confidence and not being able to sustain relationships. Maybe this is the way forward for you. I am no expert but I am sure there is help out there for you.
I am sure j-h-g-5 is right, some people are just more prone to depression than others.
I am sure there are many others on these forums who know just where you are coming from.
Take care
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Postby j-h-g-5 » Fri Nov 14, 2008 7:50 pm

Furthermore, I would add that people who are not disposed to depression and who therefore do not understand it, and imagine it doesn't exist really irritate me beyond belief. Many think it doesn't exist - or it is an excuse designed to get the individual out of doing something.

I am sure, as Janej states, your GP will be able to refer you on to support groups and the like in your particular area. However, it has to be said that this isn't a solution for everybody.

Obviously there is also a variety of anti-depressants available, but these tend to treat the effects rather than the cause.

In my experience, depression tends to manifest itself with extremes of mood... extreme highs and extreme lows. Anti-depressants seem to take out some of the more extreme parts - if that makes sense.

I think the important thing to remember is that depression is far more widespread than we are generally led to believe. Talking about it to others may well help, but then, if you also have that confidence problem, then that too can prove difficult.

There are various forums on the internet that deal with depression, but I would advise being extremely careful as to which you might join. Some of these are quite extreme, and could in fact make you feel worse not better. Like with anything on the internet, there are a few warped individuals who infest such forums simply to poke fun and take pleasure at the misfortune of others - so beware.

Try to find a forum that is properly moderated, and steer away from the more contentious subjects if you can.

I haven't personally tried this one - although it seems to have quite a reasonable reputation -
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